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Binny sez he'll croak as a martyr in new tape
A British-based Islamic news agency said Thursday it has a new audio recording of Osama Bin Laden in which he predicts he will die as "a martyr" this year in an attack against his enemies. "All us good Muslims should. Uhh... You go first." The al-Ansaar news agency said that the 53-minute tape was allegedly recorded this month and acquired from a seller who advertised over the Internet. Y'know, I should probably advertise the nekkid pictures of him I have on e-Bay. I could use the big dollars. Y'see, Binny and Madonna and Michael Jackson and this circus midget... Uh. Never mind. You'll have to bid. Imran Khan, who runs the Birmingham-based agency al-Ansaar, said he translated the tape, describing it as poetic with several verses from the Quran. "In this final year I hurl myself and my steed with my soul at the enemy. Indeed on my demise I will become a martyr," the al-Qaeda leader purportedly says. "I pray my demise isnât on a coffin bearing green mantles. I wish my demise to be in the eagle's belly." "Y'see, I've actually been dead for the past year and a half, but all these Islamonutz can't admit it. But it's gettin' pretty hard to keep up the pretense, since if they publish a picture of me it, like, 'Night of the Not-Living Dead,' if y'know what I mean. Who's gonna pay any attention to a smear of carbon? So several of my body parts are bragged up to be on the way out in a blaze of glory and then somebody else can take over. I don't really care who it is, 'cuz I'm dead and in Paradise. It's a lot hotter here in Paradise than I thought it would be, but me and ol' Heinrich Himmler have a lotta laffs together..." Khan said experts contacted by al-Ansaar believed the "eagle" referred to the US and the quote revealed bin Laden's wish to end his life in a final act of terrorism. Posted by: Fred Pruitt 2003-02-14 |
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