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Jacques sobers up...
"Oooh! My head! Who dared hit the President of France with a claw hammer?"
"It wasn't a hammer, sir. I think it was the gin. Would you like an aspirin?"
"Give me four of them."
"Yes, sir. I have told the reporters you won't be available until after 2 p.m."
"Reporters? What do they want me to say?"
"You already said it, sir."
"I... said something?"
"Yes, sir."
"At the dinner?"
"Yes, sir."
"Give me a cigarette, please. What did I say?"
"You said, 'It is not really responsible behavior. It is not well brought up behavior.'"
"I was discussing someone's poorly behaved 4-year-old?"
"You were discussing Eastern Europe, sir."
"Egad. I said that? Give me a cigarette, please."
"You already have one, sir. Would you like an ice pack?"
"No. What else did I say?"
"'They missed a good opportunity to keep quiet.'"
"That's... That's... as much as telling them to shut their goddamned mouths. Are you sure I said that?"
"Yes, sir. I was there. I saw the tape."
"Oh, my. It's on tape?"
"Yes, sir."
"And then?"
"'Concerning the candidate countries, honestly I felt they acted frivolously because entry into the European Union implies a minimum of understanding for the others.' You weren't, uhhh... very understanding of them, if you know what I mean."
"You mean I was insufferably arrogant and condescending."
"Yes, sir. You warned the candidates their position could be 'dangerous' because the parliaments of the 15 EU nations still have to ratify last December's decision for 10 new members to join."
"I was threatening them? Do we have any more aspirin? At least I stuck to generalizations..."
"You said that Romania and Bulgaria were particularly irresponsible to sign the letter when their position is really delicate."
"Delicate?"
"If they wanted to diminish their chances of joining Europe they could not have found a better way."
"Oh, God! I was that crass?"
"Yes, sir. 'When you're in the family you have more rights than when you're knocking on the door.'"
"It was... It was... It was only a dinner. Almost the same thing as chatting in private. I'm sure nobody noticed..."
"Poland did. Adam Rotfeld said that Poland 'has a right to decide what is in its own good, and France should in its turn consider it with respect and with interest for the reasons."
"Poland said that? That's how I got this welt on my cheek?"
"No, sir. That is from the Czech Deputy Foreign Minister Alexandr Vondr, when he was asked whether you were bullying the candidates. He said, 'That's the way it seems.'"
"There must be some mistake..."
"You can take some comfort, sir. Bulgaria's Prime Minister, Simeon Saxe-Coburg-Gotha..."
"The man who could have been king? Royalty is standing up for me? How appropriate..."
"...said there was no question of Bulgaria changing its stance, although he said that your comments should not be exaggerated."
"Oh."
"After all, you were drunk."
"Pour me a drink, please."
Posted by: Fred Pruitt 2003-02-18
http://www.rantburg.com/poparticle.php?ID=10379