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JoeBob: I just watched Troy, er, I mean Shit We Just Made Up
Last night, at 8:00 PM, and again at 3:30 AM, Pacific, HBO ran the movie Troy. I watched it both times.While it was a pretty good adventure flic, with no redeeming value bad guys, near perfect good guys, guys who thought with their little head instead of their big head, guys who were impervious to pain, guys who were impervious to direction (that's only a guess, heh), guys who won that should've lost (a modern Hollyweird favorite thingy), guys who lost when they should've won (same same), guys who are slavishly loyal, guys who are independent minded, and chix who are all of the above, as well - just a lot easier to look at, IMHO, it just didn't have diddley-squat to do with the source material. Save the period costumes and the names, it was actually "shit we just made up". I don't much mind pure fiction, mind you, it can be fun, it can be great. But make it clear it's just that, "shit we just made up" - don't call it Troy. I was actually quite surprised that it played so well, even if the storyline was jarring as hell due to inaccuracies, but that's prolly cuz my expectations were seriously subterranean after Alexander. What was the name of that kid? You know, the one whose career was permanently tanked by taking direction from Ollie Stone? He wasn't really so bad in the little telephone booth thingy. Ah well, such is life in Hollyweird. Meet Ollie, kiss career goodbye, but enjoy the "A" List parties while the invites come in. Anyway, Hollyweird should just start naming every movie "shit we just made up" and tag on a number (chronologically assigned, I guess, by F.A.G.). It'll play hell with IMDB, think binary tree with no branches, lol, but it'd be more honest, and you know what? We'd get used to it. Troy: Lots of heads roll. No breasts, but there were healthy humps and buttery buttocks. Gratuitous gladiator-style slaughter. Achilles demonstrated ninja-style gladiator-style combat. Paris was both a pussy and a prick. Hermaphrodite rating. JoeBob says 3 stars, check it out. Posted by: .com 2005-07-03 |
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