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A Scorned Lover, Glue And A Naked Man
 WESTMORELAND COUNTY, Pa. -- Gail O'Toole was convicted of simple assault and sentenced to six months probation for acts she committed against her ex-lover. On Wednesday, the civil suit went to court, where O'Toole's ex-boyfriend claimed her "outrageous" and "inhumane" acts are worth thousands in damages.
Ken Slaby said he was in love with O'Toole five years ago.
| "Oh, baby! I looooooove you!" |
He even admitted he was devastated when O'Toole broke it off.
| "I'm so depressed! I think I'll kill myself... Oh, wait! Who's that? She's kinda cute!" |
So, when O'Toole invited him over to her Murrysville home for a night of hot sex to rekindle a friendship, he said he agreed.
Slaby said O'Toole even went to his house in Pittsburgh to pick him up. But according to Slaby, the night took a turn when O'Toole got angry about Slaby's new love.
| That seems to have been after the whoopee machine wore out... |
Slaby said O'Toole waited until he fell asleep and glued his penis to his stomach, glued his testicle to his leg and glued the cheeks of his buttocks together.
| That was after she fed him a nice chili dinner... |
Then came the nail polish. Slaby claimed O'Toole dumped it all over his head.
| Did she buy it by the keg or something? |
When he woke up, Slaby said O'Toole threw him out.
He didn't have a car, so he was forced to walk one mile down Route 22 to call 911 and Murrysville police, Slaby said.
| "Hello, police? Somebody glued my butt cheeks together..." |
When asked if in his 23 years as a police officer he had seen anything like this, Patrolman Joseph Malone of the Murrysville Police Department said, "No, I can't say I have."
| "We don't get many ass cheek gluings around here. It's a pretty nice town..." |
At the hospital, oils did little to remove the glue. Nurses actually had to peel it off.
"Hand me the pliers, wouldja, Gertie?"
"Ummm... That's my testicle..." |
Slaby underwent treatment from a dermatologist several times afterward.
| "Whoa! Don't see many of these cases! Hey, Doctor Bob! Have a look at this, wouldja?" |
O'Toole's attorney said this was part of routine sexual activity between the couple -- acts that he agreed to -- incidents that should have stayed in the bedroom.
| Creamed corn, whipped cream, or chocolate syrup don't have nearly as many side effects. Steamed clams do, though. Why once... ummm... forget it. |
But Slaby said O'Toole told him she planned the acts since the break up.
| "Yeah. I dunnit. I used to have fantasies about gluing his scrotum to the top of his head, but I could never quite get him positioned right..." |
According to Slaby, O'Toole came up with script and followed it to the letter because she was angry that he had moved on.
"You been seein' that brazen hussy, ain't you?"
"Now, honey!... Whoa! Put that down!" |
Slaby said his injuries included severe burning on parts of his body, impingement of normal bodily functions
| That's because she glued his bunghole shut... |
and discoloration of his hair.
"Wow, man! That's a weird-lookin' bleach job!"
"It was nail polish remover." |
The 10 men and two women on the jury can award Slaby $30,000 or more. Their decision is expected late on Thursday.
| It'll take them at least that long to stop cackling... |
Posted by: Fred 2005-11-03 |
