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Nuggets from the Urdu press
Altaf Hussain in âtrubbelâ
According to daily Pakistan, a lot of ulema in Pakistan have objected to MQM chief Altaf Hussain calling the late Qadiani leader Mirza Tahir a marhoom (deceased). The ulema said that calling a kafir marhoom and praying for him was an act of apostasy. They said those who pronounced a kafir marhoom without knowing the subtleties of the issue were sinners but those who did so knowingly were apostates themselves. The newspaper said that many people rang up to protest. The clerics in Pakistan asked the government not to allow the dead body of Mirza Tahir to be brought to Pakistan for burial. Khabrain reported the most anti-Ahmedi cleric Maulana Chinioti as thanking the government for refusing permission for Mirza Tahirâs burial in Pakistan. According to Khabrain, Maulana Abdul Hafeez Makki said in Chiniot that the UK was an old imperialist state which gave facilities for the funeral of Mirza Tahir. He said he would pursue the case of blasphemy against the Quran by the new Ahmedi leader Mirza Masroor and bring him to justice.
| That obviously has something to do with fine points of Islamic law that kufirs like us will never understand. If he's dead, then he's by definition "deceased." If they really want to do it right, though, they should bring the poor guy's corpse back to Pakland so they can hold a synod horrenda. That's sure show those daggone Ahmadiya blasphemers, by gum... |
No pants in NWFP
Daily Nawa-e-Waqt reported that the NWFP assembly had passed a law saying that Western pants and shirt were against Islamic shariah and were a burden financially on school going citizens. The assembly dubbed pants a symbol of slavery and banned it in all schools. The opposition walked out in protest.
| Were they wearing pants? It's amazing, the number of things that're against Islamic shariah. Like toilet paper... |
Hafiz Saeed refuses to bend
| I would, too, if I wasn't wearing pants... |
Daily Pakistan reported that the government had taken serious note of Lashkar e-Taiba chief Hafiz Saeedâs statements against America and violent language used in regard to Kashmir and had asked him to use restraint but he had rejected the advice. Hafiz Saeed said that UN inspectors visiting Pakistan to inspect installation were CIA men who would fix electronic chips on Pakistanâs sensitive parts and then use satellites to bomb these sensitive parts. Daily Nawa-e-Waqt reported that Hafiz Saeed stated that Foreign minister Kasuri was following American dictation whereas the only way to go was look the Americans in the eye and do jehad against them.
| Works like a charm for every place that tries it, doesn't it? |
Pakistan should join the emerging powers
Retired chief of army staff Aslam Beg said in Jang that India and America did not have the guts to attack Pakistan. Pakistan should join the emerging powers in Europe. He said France, Germany and Russia who were the big shareholders in the IMF had asked Pakistan to support them against America. He also said that in 2002 Europe, America and Israel had encouraged India to attack Pakistan but now the situation had changed.
| Aslam wants Pakland to be an emerging power instead of a failed state. The reflexive anti-Americanism of goobers like him makes the country an easy pluck if the Frenchies want to drive a wedge between them and us â so watch for that to happen. We'll be standing around looking anguished until the deed is done, at which point we can heave a sigh of relief and let Dominique deal with them until it's their turn in the barrel... |
We will get Israel!
Military genius and ex-ISI chief retired general Hamid Gul told Khabrain magazine that Pakistanâs missiles could deliver a nuclear weapon as far east as Madras in India and Israel in the West. One-third of all Jews in the world were in Israel which meant that âthe bird had itself flown into the netâ. He said that sooner or later America will ask for control over Pakistanâs nuclear weapons. He said democracy was sinking in Britain and America and that America will cause its own destruction. He said Pakistan needed three Js: jamhuriat, jehad, jauhri programme (democracy, jehad and nuclear weapons).
| Now, I'd say that what Pakland really needs is some serious medication... |
Al Muhajiroun declares revolution
According to Nawa-e-Waqt retired and convicted major general Zaheerul Islam Abbasi told a congregation of the British-based organisation Al Muhajiroun Harkat al-Khilafa that it was no use enforcing Islam legally. It had to be enforced forcibly and for that the religious forces should surround Islamabad. The gathering decided that the crusades were on and the Islamic world had to do jehad.
| I tend to agree with the statement. Once the forces of ignorance, hatred, and loose cannonry declared war on us, for our own safety it became incumbent upon us to fight back... |
Islamic council against birthdays!
According to Jang, Council for Islamic Ideology (CII) declared that such ceremonies as birthdays, mehndi, engagement, circumcision, drinking milk, and many other rituals as against Islam. It disapproved of the feasts attached to these rituals. Only walima (feast from the bridegroom) was found to be Islamic.
| At least there's something in this world that's Islamic. I think the basic principle here is that if it's not found in the koran or the sunnah, it's not Islamic. That means icebergs aren't Islamic, the planet Neptune is not Islamic, and microbes aren't Islamic... |
Women killed for honour
According to daily Din, 450 women were killed in Pakistan in 2002 on the basis of honour. In Sindh, 88 women were killed, in Punjab 95, in Balochistan 91 and in the NWFP 76. The paper said it was because of lack of education.
| If that was a reason for killing people, Pakland would be depopulated by now... |
Posted by: Paul Moloney 2003-05-09 |
