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Nuggets from the Urdu press
Singers in ‘trubbel’
According to Khabrain popular Pakistani singers and actresses Nasibo Lal, Saima, Mira and Sana had been summoned to court along with culture ministry and the police to answer charges of obscenity. Two young men of Baghbanpura Lahore, Qasim and Imtiaz, were listening to songs at a tea stall when they thought of using Islam to make the artists come to court after being arrested. One song was stick under the bed, the other objectionable song was pot for milk. The two young men said they were so pious they could not listen to the songs without being upset.
Well, yeah. I guess I can understand why they'd be upset. "Stick under the bed" — Oooh! Carnal imagery! And "Pot for milk"? That's an obvious reference to boobies. Anybody with an exceptionally dirty mind would get either of them...
Insulting the holy Quran
According to Khabrain, two men in Gujranwala, Yusuf and Loha Pehlwan, burnt the Quran and were handed over to the police. But the local people became incensed and gathered at the police station under the leadership of local ulema and asked the police to let them kill the two insulters. The newspaper also reported two brothers in Chichawatni who threw the Quran down on the floor during a scuffle with a man who had broken the engagement of his daughter with one of them. The two brothers attacked the house but the girl came out with Quran held aloft.
"They have [fill in offense here]! They must be killed!"
Hafiz Said’s wisdom
As reported in Khabrain leader of banned Lashkar e-Taiba said in Faisalabad that Pakistan should train its population to become like Saddam Hussein’s Republican Guards, after which the armed forces of Pakistan should be sent to Iraq to fight against the Americans. He was speaking at Faisalabad which is the centre of Ahle Hadith organisations. Another speaker at the Faisalabad gathering said that Pakistan should threaten America with a nuclear strike. Nawa-e-Waqt reported Hafiz Saeed as saying that Pakistani rulers would hand over the country’s nuclear weapons if the Americans demanded them. He said that Iraq would become a graveyard for the American dead.

A she-devil rises in Norway
Sultan Mehmood writing in Nawa-e-Waqt reported that a Pakistani lady in Norway was a she-devil making the life of pious Pakistanis there impossible through her programmes against arranged marriage, Islamic hudood and women’s circumcision in the Muslim world. A graduate of Oslo university the Pakistani girl was printing articles against the mullahs. After a Muslim killed his daughter because she had married a non-Muslim Swede, she took out a procession of protest in Oslo, after which Pakistani Muslims took out a counter-procession against her procession.
Can't kill his daughter? By Gawd, the woman is making life for pious Pakistanis impossible!
Everybody tells lies
Columnist Hamid Mir wrote in Jang that all political parties hid the truth. Ex-president Mian Azhar was saved from a vote of no-confidence by General Musharraf and although he was later made to resign, he still did not admit that PML(Q) was King’s Party. PPPP’s Makhdoom Amin Fahim was prevented from becoming prime minister by Ms Bhutto, the chief ministership of his son was sabotaged, and he was himself not chosen as leader of his party in parliament. He was prevented from joining the MMA at the centre but allowed to do so in Sindh, as a result of which he had tendered his resignation, but still he maintained that he had no differences with Ms Bhutto. MMA got its big vote because of the hatred against America and its attack on the Taliban but MMA kept denying this and instead claimed that it had won because the religious parties had united. The MMA then got together with the PML(Q) in Balochistan and the PPPP in Sindh but refused to cast vote for Jamali at the centre. The MMA leaders Maulana Fazlur Rehman and Qazi Hussain Ahmad fell out over the question of by-election nominations. Both denied it but Maulana Samiul Haq and Prof Sajid Mir seemed to be siding with Qazi Sahib in this division.

Threaten America with nuclear strike!
Talking to Khabrain, General (Retd) Zahid Ali Akbar said that if America bombed Pakistan then Pakistan should threaten the United States with a nuclear strike on their naval fleet nearest to Pakistan. He said if too many body bags reached America the public there would reject Bush and elect a Democrat president who may firmly take the US back to the United Nations. He said if he was in Saddam’s shoes he would have made chemical weapons. He said if he was General Musharraf I would prepare a missile with a 2000-mile range so as to reach Israel.

If Kurd state is created
Famous columnist Nazeer Naji wrote in Jang that if the Americans created a Kurd state in the Iraqi north then a parallel state containing central Iraq and Jordan could come into being. This new state would clash with Iran and would be supported by Israel.

Americans will get roasted!
Famous war expert Captain (Retd) Saeed Tiwana wrote in daily Pakistan that American troops in Iraq desert will get roasted in summer. He said the America war planners were at each other’s throats and that President Bush was taking strong pain-killers like his father, Saddam's earlier victim. He said America will get great beating in Iraq and President Bush will stand trial for war crimes.
Posted by: Paul Moloney 2003-05-16
http://www.rantburg.com/poparticle.php?ID=14324