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Britons to stage 'masturbate-a-thon'
 Hundreds of Britons are being urged to attend what is being branded as Europe's first "Masturbate-a-thon", a leading British reproductive healthcare charity said.
| Bring your own tissue, though... |
Marie Stopes International, which is hosting the event with HIV/AIDS charity the Terrence Higgins Trust, said it expected up to 200 people to attend the sponsored masturbation session in Clerkenwell, central London, on Sunday. "It is a bit of a publicity stunt but we hope it will raise awareness," a Marie Stopes spokeswoman said. "We want to get people talking about safer sex, masturbation and to lift taboos."
| Guess you can't get much safer than stretching your own baloney or tickling your own clam... |
Participants, who have to be over 18, can bring any aids they need and can take part in four different rooms - a comfort area, a mixed area, along with men and women only areas. However, the rules on the event's website states there can be no touching of other participants nor are people allowed to fake orgasms.
"Want me to help you with that, handsome?"
"Keep yer hands to yerself, you brazen hussy! Din't ya read the rules?" |
"The amount you raise will be determined by how many minutes you masturbate and/or how many orgasms you achieve," the website said.
| Hope they've got that broken down by age groups... |
Organisers said participants will have the option of wearing clothes that "they feel hot or erotic in" and will be able to go into private booths, and male-only or female-only areas, should they wish. Individuals who are too embarrassed to get sponsorship can "self-donate".
"Ummm... I brought you this."
"For me? Oh, thank you!... Hey! This is mayonnaise!" |
Around five people are aiming to break the masturbation record (eight-and-a-half hours for a man and six hours 20 minutes for a woman).
| We're talking blister city here, folks... |
The Marie Stopes spokeswoman said local religious groups had been initially outraged, but after people had heard what the event was about, most had approved it.
| "Whacking off? In groups? I'm ouraged! They'll all burn in... Ummm... They're raising money, y'say?... How much?... Well, except for that thing about Onan, there's nothing against it in the sight of the Lord... And we'll give you a dispensation for the Onan part..." |
Police had also given it their approval.
| "Yeah, sure. Keeps 'em off the streets. And when they get back on it they're mellow." |
Similar events have been staged in San Francisco for the last six years raising $US25,000 ($32,927) for women's health initiatives and HIV prevention. If successful, Marie Stopes said it could take place elsewhere in mainland Europe next year.
"Where y'going for yer vacation this year, Herb?"
"I'm going to the Munich Beer Hall Whack-a-thon!" |
Posted by: Fred 2006-08-06 |
