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Nice work if you can get it
Somebody always beats me to these great ideas...Columbus - A chiropractor who was accused of medical malpractice this spring for charging patients $60 an hour to heal their pain telepathically surrendered his license Thursday. Muldoon, slap the braclets on him! Dr. James C. Burda of Athens had claimed he possessed the power to heal clients via techniques he dubbed "Bahlaqeem Vina" and "Bahlaqeem Jaqem," made-up terms that he said described his ability to go back in time to the date of an injury and realign bones and joints using telekinetic vibration. Wow. It's like "Time Tunnel"! What if Spartacus needed a chiropractor? The doc'd be there! History could've been changed! After stumbling across his Web site, bahlaqeem.com, the Ohio State Chiropractic Board accused him of being a long-distance quack, charging that a psychological exam determined he was mentally ill and suffered from "delusional disorder, grandiose type." Hmmmmmmm. Should've become a lawyer instead... In an interview in April, Burda, 58, said he discovered his "God-given gift" when his foot began to hurt while he was driving from Athens to Parkersburg, W.Va. He said he commanded it to stop and the pain went away. Wow. I'm impressed. He was back in his car Thursday when a reporter called to ask about the surrender of his license and his written admission that Bahlaqeem "is not an acceptable form of treatment according to acceptable and prevailing standards of chiropractic care." Wow. The scene of the original miracle. Funny how things work out... "I really can't speak to you right now; I'm in my vehicle," he said. "Maybe we can visit a little more when I'm not in my vehicle." He then hung up. Vehicle don't fail me now... Burda was subjected to national ridicule after regulators filed disciplinary charges against him. He earned a "News of the Weird" entry and caused humorist Dave Barry to lament: "If only they could do this for prostate exams." A famous quack. I wonder if he pulls that, "Do you know who I am " shit? Burda's Web site promises "pain relief any time, anywhere . . . in the privacy of your home or other personal space" for $60 (checks and money orders accepted). Even over the phone. In fact, I prefer it that way... It includes a "testimonial" from a 10-year-old basset hound and says Burda chose the word Bahlaqeem to describe his technique because it has "a soothing vibrational influence and contains the very special number of nine letters." He knows a talking basset hound? This guy's amazing! A section titled "Wonderments of the Body" includes this wonderment in answer to the question, "Why do the fingers bend down at an angle when I close my hand slowly?": Now that's deep! "The hand works like this in order to give you the most power between each finger and your thumb. The powerful, opposable thumb. It is human." Wow. I wonder if he knew Darwin in a previous life? Or if he was Darwin? Burda had been practicing in Ohio since 1991. And it only took them 15 years to catch him... Posted by: tu3031 2006-09-29 |
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