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Jittery environmentalist flees NYC home for fear of climate change (and makes a killing)
 h/t Tim BlairPaddington Zwigard, an avid environmentalist who is also a broker with Brown Harris Stevens, just sold her $4.15 million "green" penthouse on Chambers Street between Hudson and Greenwich Streets. Though she was long aware that its location near the river made it vulnerable to flooding either from a hurricane or a long-term rise in sea levels she was willing to stomach the risk to live near the river. When she decided to sell, she thought the apartment's location would prompt at least some questions from buyers, though when it didn't, she suspected it was the result of "younger, self-absorbed, mass-materialist consumers who are really not aware of anything outside their whatever," Zwigard said. Pocketing her $4.15 mil, Paddington fled to higher ground, muttering invectives under her breath. "You young, self-absorbed, mass-materialist dupes! Just wait until the ice caps melt and the seas rise. You'll be sitting there in your Barcalounger, watching Deal or No Deal on the plasma screen, too stupid to flee as Gaia's avenging tsunami rolls in. Think your Cusinart or your BMW or your 401(k) will save you then? Ha! Ha-ha! Ha-ha-ha-ha!" She speculates that the extensive condo development has attracted a certain type of buyer: wealthier, more mobile and disinclined to look more than a few years into his or her homeowning future. Zwigard is planning to buy other apartments downtown, renovate them and sell them betting, in effect, on others' shortsightedness.  "Someday, you Earth-destroying Yuppie dupes, you'll all be dead and drowned, you and your SUVs, and I'll be up on the Palisaides with the surviving polar bears, enjoying my beachfront property and laughing at you. Gaia's vengeance will be complete, and I, her faithful low-carbon-footprinted servant, will inherit the Earth! And I'll be rich, too! And it'll all be long-term capital gains so my tax rate is lower! Ha-ha-ha-ha!"Tim Blair comments: Wouldnt an avid environmentalist have some moral issues with this? Perhaps Paddington is one of those self-absorbed materialist types. Posted by: Mike 2007-03-12 |
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