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Freedom Fighter Attacks Hard-Core Cop Tactics in London
He wears a baby-blue spandex jumpsuit and shiny gold panties, gloves, cape, boots and goggles. He wields a giant, metal-cutting circular power saw.In a combined tribute to Liberace and Bob Villa. Who is Angle Grinder Man? (Does he have a sponser?) He is Britainâs self-styled "first wheel-clamp and speed camera vigilante cum subversive superhero philanthropist entertainer type person." Thatâs who. For those not familiar with industrial machine tools, an angle grinder is the saw best suited to cutting through plates of steel, such as, say, the wheel clamps that authorities use to immobilize illegally parked cars in London. And Angle Grinder Man offers his "free clamp-removal service" to "all good, decent law-unabiding people" who would rather fight back than pay to have their cars released. He must use a cordless to enhase his mobility. Say, is that a battery pack in your spandex jumpsuit or are you just excited about fighting injustice? All a clamped motorist has to do is call AGMâs hotline and out comes the roadside rescue superhero to saw through the brace and release the car. Beware the undercover evil Sherrif of Nottingham, do not seek to participate in the fabrication contest sponsored by Home Depot. Itâs a trap. British newspapers love him. Taxi drivers are talking about him. And apparently he is for real. His Web Site shows him, sparks a-flying, carrying out an act of apparent criminal damage on a clamp to "liberate" a red saloon car on a London street. He advertises his hotline at his Web Site, anglegrinderman.co.uk. Since the press latched on to him, his voicemail box has been full. I believe he met his sidekick, Medium-sized Mel, who wears a bowling shirt and full cowl on a high-rise worksite. Mel is an acetylene torch specialist. The Medium-sized one impressed Angle Grinder Man with his superior rivit gun operation skills. Story is that he knocked the Grinder off an I-beam from 4 stories. Luckily, there was a safety net. Mel and the Grind have been friends ever since. His tips: "You will need a petrol-driven, 5,000 revolutions-per-minute angle grinder and a 300mm diameter metal cutting disc. It is dangerous to use a diamond-tipped or similar slotted cutting disc on metal. Always use a solid one." (Insert plug for a yet undetermined brand. Super Hose recommends Metabo that I am sure that the True German Ally will recommend as Well.) Also: better to saw off clamps attached by private contractors than those placed by actual police, who can arrest you. Angle Grinder Man says his actions are a political protest against "the arrogant contempt that politicians hold for the people who put them in power." But police say it is no joke. Even private clamp owners can press charges. "What might seem a light-hearted gesture to some would be considered criminal damage to others," a spokesman for Scotland Yard said. "Any act of deliberate vandalism would be acted on by the police." Note: Angle Grinder Man and Medium-sized Mel are looking for an overweight clergyman of any denomination that has access to a set of lock-pick tools. The also could use someone who is a talented lyricist, has libertarian political leanings and can play the banjo. Posted by: Super Hose 2003-09-18 |
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