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Top Priorities of Acting President Cheneys First 100 Minutes
While Bush undergoes a routine colonoscopy Saturday, he will transfer presidential powers to Dick Cheney. Here's a list of President Cheney's promises to the American people for his first 100 minutes.Minute 1: Nuke Baghdad (I think they meant Tehran) Minute 15: Eliminate the Department of Homeland Security and replace it with Jack Bauer Minute 36: Tea with Karl Rove Minute 51: Nuke North Korea Minute 65: By executive order, allot Wyoming 3 more senators and a baseball team Minute 73: Send Joe and Valerie Wilson to Guantanamo Minute 81: Change into Darth Vadar costume and conspire with the Prince of Darkness Minute 90: Actually pardon Scooter Libby, because the last president wasnt cowboy enough to do it right the first time Minute 93: Respectfully but resolutely assert importance of Halliburton Minute 100: Hold press conference confirming the beliefs of Arianna Huffington and Kossacks nationwide that he is, in fact, evil Posted by: Sherry 2007-07-20 |
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