Does he know that he has fans (ahem) who have the same "dangerous" views as Elizabeth Hasselbeck? Come on, man, let's head down to the Copa, where we can all get along (well, unless you're Tony...).

If I were Elisabeth Hasselbeck, I would refuse to sit next to Barry Manilow. After all, "I Write the Songs" has officially been categorized as a war crime by the Fourth Geneva Convention. Here at home, even Wayne LaPierre supports legislation to declare "Mandy" an assault weapon deserving of a complete ban. This is not to say that Manilow hasn't been of service to his country, albeit inadvertently. Unconfirmed reports claim that Abu Zubaydah would not break, even with a bullet in his groin, until they played 15 seconds of "I Can't Smile Without You," whereupon he cried like a little girl.

His name was Barry
He was a showboy
But that was thirty years ago
When he used to do the show
Now it's a talkshow
But not for Barry
Still in the suit he used to wear
Faded gel streaks in his hair
He won't return their call
No matter how they crawl
He lost his slot
And he lost his marbles
But he's found Ron Paul

He can't cope-a
Cope-a with Hassel
The toughest chick west of Newcastle
Not like Rosie
Rosie O'Donnell
Barry knows she'll melt
When he brings up steel melt
He can't cope-a
He lost his slot...