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Citizens like calling it Rodeo -- veggie burgers wonât change that
Our friends at PETA strike again, or attempt to. Hope the ELF doesnât burn down the town as a reprisal.The good people of Rodeo -- who like animals as much as anyone else, especially for breakfast -- declared Tuesday that their precious heritage is worth more than $20,000 in veggie burgers. "They can keep their veggie burgers,ââ said Doug Boyum. "Iâm not going to sell out for a veggie burger. Iâm not going to sell out, period.ââ The great veggie burger debate was the talk around town, after an animal rights group from Virginia sought to heat up its campaign against rodeo shows by suggesting that Rodeo change its name to something else. It offered the unincorporated town $20,000 worth of veggie burgers ("theyâre high in fiber! ââ) to do it. Yes, theyâre high in fiber. They also taste like shit. Shit with no flavor. "Our request may be unique, but it is sincere,ââ said Lisa Franzetta, a coordinator from People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, pleading her cause to the Contra Costa County Board of Supervisors. She got exactly three minutes before the board did what all good bureaucracies like to do - it referred the matter to a committee. Bye, Lisa. Weâll...ummmmmmmm...let you know. But the 8,717 people of Rodeo, tucked between San Pablo Bay and a bunch of refineries down the road, did not need a committee to know that their town is not for sale, especially not for chump change. The PETA offer works out to a half dozen veggie burgers per person. What a deal! At Flippyâs coffee shop in the middle of town, the entire citizenry seemed to be chewing over the offer, in addition to bacon, sausage and hamburgers. Owner Joe Cho said that changing the name would be "unreasonable" and his wife, Vickie, said the idea was "dumb." MMMMMMMMMMMMMM...red meat. "Why donât they change the name of Rodeo Drive in Beverly Hills, if they want to change something?ââ she said. "Weâre a small town. We like things the way they are." "Rodeo is a nice name,ââ said Michael Wall. "If they change the name, Iâd still call it Rodeo.ââ I think they should change it to Tasty Cow, or Beefeater. The town was named in 1890 by a soon-to-be-bankrupt meatpacking company. PETA suggested the town call itself Unity, an idea about as popular as a refinery fire. Unity? Kumbaya, losers. "Rodeo has been Rodeo every since I was a kid,ââ said Michaelâs father, Charles Wall. "If they take it away, there goes part of your life.ââ Not coincidentally, the veggie burger pitch coincides with the opening Friday of the annual Grand National Rodeo at the Cow Palace in Daly City. For years, PETA members have picketed the rodeo at the main gate, often finding themselves ignored. Oh, Iâll bet they donât like that. The group said it was time to try something new, although its name-change ploy is growing whiskers of its own. In recent years, the group has offered $15,000 worth of veggie burgers to the towns of Hamburg and Fishkill in New York if they would change their names. Both said no, and PETA said it is running short of suitable outrageously named towns to offer veggie burgers to. Stupid and cheap. Oh, well. The media does their publicity for them on the arm, so thatâs a savings. "They didnât do it for $15,000, so we decided to up the ante,ââ said PETA protest director Bob Chorush. "But weâre not trying to buy the town. Weâre just trying to make a point.ââ Whatâs the PETA Protest Director job pay, Bob? Down the street from Flippyâs, at the Rodeo Bait and Taxidermy store, animals are popular, too. On the wall over the counter, a sign proclaimed that bass fishing is good right now at the town pier and that the Bait of the Month is pile worms, for $6.50 a dozen. Owner Harmit Singh said he treats his worms ethically. He also said that changing the town name would be "stupid.ââ He treats his worms "ethically". Oh, thank God for that!!! "Why change it? Rodeo is a good name," he said. "If you change it, everyone has to pay money for new signs and new business cards and everything else.ââ But, Harmit? Veggie burgers! Six of them! For EVERYBODY! One of his customers, with a tackle box under his arm, said it would take more than a few veggie burgers to get the ball rolling. "They can keep the stupid veggie burgers,ââ he said. "A bunch of people from Virginia canât just come to town and wave around a few veggie burgers and think they own the place.ââ Yes. Yes we do. These bumpkins donât realize how noble we are. Letâs get outta here. Posted by: tu3031 2003-10-23 |
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