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The Jane Fonda Martyrs Brigades
Ladies and Gentlemen, the Queen of the Fifth Column, "Hanoi Jane" speaks, and speaks, and speaks. Just a taste:
It’s possible that the extreme, neo-conservative version of Patriarchy which makes up our current Executive branch will over-play its hand and cause the house of cards to collapse. We know that this new "preventive war" doctrine will put us on a permanent war footing. We know there can’t be guns and butter, right? We learned that with Vietnam. We know that a Pandora’s box has been opened in the Middle East and that the administration is not prepared for the complexities that are emerging. We know that friends are becoming foes and angry young Muslims with no connection to Al Qaeda are becoming terrorists in greater numbers. We know that with the new tax plan the rich will be better off and the rest will be poorer. We know what happens when poor young men and women can only get jobs by joining the military and what happens when they come home and discover that the day after Congress passed the "Support Our Troops" Resolution, $25 billion was cut from the VA budget. We know that already, families of servicemen have to go on welfare and are angry about it.
And we know how much Jane cares about our troops, even going to the front and posing for pictures with them...oh, wait, those were North Vietnamese troops, sorry.
That’s why V-Day, The White House Project and their many allies are partnering to hold a national women’s convention somewhere in the heartland, next June of 2004. Its purpose will be to inspire and mobilize women and vagina-friendly men around the 2004 elections and to build a new movement that will coalesce our energies and forces around a politic of caring.
I enjoy being friendly to vaginas, am I invited?
The convention will put forward a fresh, clear, and concise platform of issues, and build the spirit, energy and power base to hold the candidates accountable for them. There will be a diversity of women from across the country who will participate in the mobilization. There will be a special focus on involving young women. There will be a variety of performers and artists acknowledging that culture plays a powerful role in political action.
Don’t forget the puppets!
There will be a concurrent Internet mobilization. Women’s organizations will be asked to sign on and send representatives to the convention. There will be a caravan, a rolling tour across the country, of diverse women leaders, celebrities and activists who will work with local organizers to build momentum, sign people up, register them to vote, get them organized and leave behind a tool kit for further mobilization through the election and beyond.
More buses.
This movement will be a volcano that will erupt in a flow of soft, hot, empathic, breathing, authentic, vagina-friendly, relational lava that will encircle patriarchy and smother it.
I need to go take a shower.
We will be the flood and we’ll be Noah’s arc. "V" for Vagina, for vote, for victory.
"V" for Vacuous: 1: emptied of or lacking content. 2: marked by lack of ideas or intelligence: STUPID, INANE. 3: devoid of serious occupation: IDLE

Bravo! Hurrah! ***Clap! Clap! Clap!*** Excellent rant using neo-KCNA imagery. It's got Pandora's Box™, the House of Cards™, servicemen's families on welfare™, and all the lessons "we" learned from Vietnam™. I give it a 9.5. If Jane ever runs low on funds she can surely find a position writing editorials for Rodong Sinmun.

Holding a conference in The Heartland™ (aka Flyover Country) is an excellent idea. It establishes the homey roots of Ms. Fonda and her accomplices. No doubt Terre Haute will welcome them with open arms, feeding them pork cutlets as the slack-jawed locals abandon their John Deeres to lap up the words of wisdom from their betters. Raising the Revolutionary Consciousness™ of the corn-fed masses is one of those things that all good has-been movie stars whose bosoms now resemble empty paper bags acknowledge is essentential for the overthrow of the Fascist State™ and its permanent war footing™.

V-Day is the feminist replacement for St. Valentine's day. Rather than expend all that time, energy and money on the mawkish and counterrevolutionary exchange of cards and gifts with members of the opposite sex, it's much better to inspire and mobilize vagina-friendly men around the 2004 elections, which are, of course, of much more import than merely trying to get friendly with a particular vagina. The fact that there will be a diversity of women from across the country who will participate in the mobilization is really neat. There's gonna be big ones, little ones, short ones, tall ones, fat ones, skinny ones, all chanting in unison, all echoing the same slogans. You can't get more diverse than that, can you? Can you?

Posted by: Steve 2003-12-05
http://www.rantburg.com/poparticle.php?ID=22282