Itâs Beginning to Look a Lot Like Kwanzaa
[shamelessly stolen from relapsedcatholic.com]
Twas the night before Kwanzaa
And all through the âhood,
Maulana Karenga was up to no good.
Heâd tortured a woman and spent time in jail.
He needed a new scam that just wouldnât fail.
("So what if I stuck some chickâs toe in a vice?
Nobody said revolution was nice!")
The Sixties were over. Now what would he do?
Why, he went back to school -- so thatâs "Dr." to you!
He once ordered shootouts at UCLA
Now he teaches Black Studies just miles away.
Then to top it all off, the good Doctorâs new plan
Was to get rid of Christmas and piss off The Man.
Karenga invented a fake holiday.
He called the thing Kwanzaa. "Hey, whatâs that you say?
"You donât get whatâs âblackâ about Maoist baloney?
You say that my festivalâs totally phony?
"Who cares if corn isnât an African crop?
Who cares if our harvestâs a month or two off?
Who cares if Swalhiliâs not our mother tongue?
A lie for The Cause never hurt anyone!
"Umoja! Ujima! Kujichagulia, too!
Collectivist crap never sounded so cool!
Those guilty white liberals -- easy to fool.
Your kids will now celebrate Kwanzaa in school!"
And we heard him exclaim as he drove out of sight:
"Happy Kwanzaa to all, except if youâre white!"
Posted by: growler 2003-12-09 |