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Archbishop under pressure to quit
 The Archbishop of Canterbury continues to face calls for his resignation despite attempts to defuse the row over his Islamic Sharia law comments. Dr Rowan Williams has been condemned from inside and outside his church for saying the adoption of parts of the law was "unavoidable" in Britain. At least two General Synod members have called for him to quit and he has been heckled as he left a church service.
"Well, that's killed antidisestablishmentarianism, hasn't it? Hope you're happy, Archbishop!"
"Two-four-six-eight!
"He can't consubstantiate!"
"Neener neener neener! He ain't got no wiener!" |
But supporters say his comments have been misinterpreted.
| The old "taken out of context" wheeze, eh? |
The archbishop is said to be shocked and hurt by the hostility his comments have provoked, and on his website he said he "certainly did not call for its introduction as some kind of parallel jurisdiction to the civil law".
| "Everybody thought they heard me say it, but that ain't really what I said. What I really said was 'Sangria is inevitable.' And I stand by that statement. We're all gonna end up drinking Spanish wine with fruit in it. It's the wave of the future!" |
However the criticism mounted as his predecessor Lord George Carey accused Dr Williams of overstating the case for accommodating Islamic legal codes.
"How about the part where you said we're all gonna wear turbans?"
"No, no! I said we're increasingly urban! Really. Just put it down to the lousy accoustics." |
'Brilliant scholar'
Writing in the News of the World, Lord Carey warned: "His acceptance of some Muslim laws within British law would be disastrous for the nation." But he said Dr Williams should not be forced to quit over his remarks, adding: "He is a great leader in the Anglican tradition and he has a very important role to play in the Church."
| The Anglican tradition would seem to have something to do with turning over the keys to the church to somebody in Mecca. The Christian tradition, I suppose, will have to accomodate both Thomas a Becket and Rowan Willians on the list of Archbishops of Canterbury, which somehow doesn't seem right. |
Members of the Synod - the Church of England's national assembly - will have the opportunity of tabling a motion to discuss the issue at the body's biannual meeting, starting on Monday.
"Mr Chairman, I propose that the Archbishop be shot."
"Second that motion."
"All in favor?"
[Chorus of 'ayes']
"The motion is carried."
[BANG!] |
Dr Williams was offered support by the Right Reverend George Cassidy, Bishop of Southwell and Nottingham, who branded the reaction "hysterical" and said the archbishop was simply trying to take forward a serious public debate.
"Yasss. Merely taking forward some serious public debate. In the process he stepped it it. But we all do that sometimes, don't we?"
"My shoes are clean!"
"So're mine!"
"And mine!"
"Get a rope!" |
Meanwhile, the Very Reverend Colin Slee, Dean of Southwark Cathedral, said the archbishop's advisors were not up to the job.
| "Liars and thieves, the lot of 'em!" |
Biblical leadership
"I have said to him on many occasions that his staff actually aren't up to the job and he needs a bigger staff and more expert advice," he said.
"I think he should hire some Christians, myself."
"Maybe even Englishmen."
"Hear, hear!" |
Col Edward Armitstead, a Synod member from the diocese of Bath and Wells, was among those calling for Dr Williams to step down, telling the Daily Telegraph: "I don't think he is the man for the job."
| "Most anyone else is, but not him. The man's a loon. Totally divorced from the rest of the country. He lacks an understanding of the difference beween England and Arabia. And he's not real clear on the Christianity thing. That's why he's always running around dressed up like a Druid or Rosicrucian or one of those other chaps who're fond of funny hats." |
He said: "One wants to be charitable, but I sense that he would be far happier in a university where he can kick around these sorts of ideas."
| "Perhaps a nice position can be found for him as dean of the food service staff." |
Alison Ruoff, a Synod member from London, said: "Many people, huge numbers of people, would be greatly relieved [if he resigned] because he sits on the fence over all sorts of things and we need strong, Christian, biblical leadership right now, as opposed to somebody who huffs and puffs around and vacillates from one thing to another. He's a very able, a brilliant scholar as a man but in terms of being a leader of the Christian community I think he's actually at the moment a disaster."
"Oh, come now! A disaster?"
"Yasss. A total loss. No insurance."
"Yep. That pretty well describes him." |
Posted by: Fred 2008-02-10 |
