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Here's a tip . . .
Jules Crittenden

An English friend was asking me about tipping. He didn’t understand how much, why. I explained they actually are allowed to pay waitstaff less than minimum wage, and the tip is part of how they get paid. It ensures good service. It’s the American way. Service, tip. No service, stiffed. He was amazed by all of this. Couldn’t believe it.

So I said, “Well, how’s the service in England?”

“Bloody awful.”

“How’s the service in America?”

“Fantastic. The food’s a lot better, too. It’s really good.”

“There you go. Over here, if they want to get paid, they have to hop to.”

Either that, or they just doctor your credit card bill. America is a great country. I saw a light go on in his head. Slowly but surely, my English pal is coming to recognize how vastly superior America is in all respects.

He told me with horror one day, “I overheard an older man in the mall telling a younger lad, ‘The American military is the greatest force for peace in the world. I couldn’t believe it.”

“I know,” I said. “It’s really amazing, isn’t it, once you figure that out.”

“Wot?”

We’re still working on that one. But I’ve explained to him one of these days, he’s going to be back in his own dismal corner of old Blighty (”How was England?” I asked after his last visit. ”Dreary, just the way we like it.”) and some gaptoothed Pom will be sounding off about America this and Yanks that and Iraq Bush blah blah blah, and he’ll find those words coming out of his mouth: “Yeah, well, I don’t expect you to understand it, but the American military is the greatest force for peace in the world. Not only that, but the restaurant service doesn’t suck.”
Posted by: Mike 2008-03-26
http://www.rantburg.com/poparticle.php?ID=235191