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Scandal! Bigfoot a Fake!
I'm shocked! Shocked, I tells ya!So it really was a rubber suit. How do they know? I mean, he's Bigfoot. Maybe he's some kinda rubber mutant... The excitement over a supposed Bigfoot body that built all last week, culminating Friday in a circus-like press conference in Palo Alto, Calif., collapsed like a wet soufflé over the weekend as an independent investigator found out it was all fake. Awwwww. And we all had such high hopes... SearchingforBigfoot.com owner Tom Biscardi paid an "undisclosed sum" to Matthew Whitton and Rick Dyer, the two Georgia men who say they found the body, for their frozen corpse and the privilege of trotting them out in front of TV cameras. At the same time, Biscardi sent self-described "Sasquatch detective" Steve Kulls back to Georgia to check out the body. Good morning, sir. Steve Kulls, Sasquatch detective. Oh. Hi. Kulls, it's safe to say, was severely disappointed. Oh, well. Keep looking, Steve. You'll find em. We're all pulling for ya. The upshot? The real Bigfoot, once found, is now missing. So are Whitton, Dyer and Biscardi's money. What was that saying about a fool and his money? In a long statement on SearchingforBigfoot.com, Kulls reveals what he found early Sunday morning Eastern time as the body thawed out. "I extracted some [hair] from the alleged corpse and examined it and had some concerns," Kulls writes. "We burned said sample and said hair sample melted into a ball uncharacteristic of hair." Oh, good. They have procedures. That makes me feel better. Kulls called Biscardi in California, who told him to heat the body to speed up thawing. It's in your procedurs, dammit! Do I have to think of ebverything! "Within one hour we were able to see the partially exposed head," Kulls continues. "I was able to feel that it seemed mostly firm, but unusually hollow in one small section. This was yet another ominous sign." Was that Bigfoot's head or his? Then came the clincher."Within the next hour of thaw, a break appeared up near the feet area. ... I observed the foot which looked unnatural, reached in and confirmed it was a rubber foot." ...and, boy, did I feel like an asshole. That jibes with what Jerry Parrino, owner of Internet Halloween-costume retailer TheHorrorDome.com, told FOXNews.com last week. "It definitely looks like our [Sasquatch] costume," Parrino said after viewing photos of the body. But, Jerry, you're not a professional Bigfootologist. Leave this to the professionals. The Biscardi team immediately went into crisis mode. Biscardi called Whitton and Dyer at their California hotel. They admitted it was a hoax and agreed to sign a promissory note at a meeting set for 8 a.m. Pacific time at the hotel. But when Biscardi got there, he "found that they had left." Damn. If ya can't trust Bigfoot hunters, who can you trust? "At this time action is being instigated against the perpetrators of this fraud," Kulls writes on Biscardi's Web site. "On behalf of myself I can say with certainty Matthew Whitton and Ricky Dyer [are] not the best Bigfoot trackers in the world!" Scam artist on scam artist crime is an ugly thing... Posted by: tu3031 2008-08-19 |
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