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Housetraining the Media
Dear Dog Trainer,I have a problem that is driving me crazy & I hope you can help. I married a wonderful woman named Representative Government a couple centuries ago. Our friends also call her Democracy. Anyway, along with her came her dog Media. At first Media seemed like a great addition to the family, protecting the house against thieves and fast talkers. Everyone in the neighborhood got a kick out of Media's daily info drops, the articles on local kid activities and the occasional thoughtful analysis. Everyone except old Joe Stickyfingers down at Town Hall, anyway, but he had it coming after that kickback scam he was running. Here's my problem though. A while back Media's behavior began to change. She stopped coming in when we called. She started growling at the kids, stealing the Internet router and guarding it in her crate, stuff like that. This election season it's really gotten out of hand, with Media and her friends messing on the carpets and chewing the furniture every time Gov. Palin is on TV. I've tried to control her but she's actually threatened me!! -- and I think her rabies vaccination has expired .... Some of my friends say the only option left is to put her down. But even if I could catch her without getting my throat ripped out Democracy has made it very plain she will divorce me, take the house and the kids and make sure I never work in this town again if I take Media on that last trip to the vet. Help! How can I housetrain Media and get her under control again? You're my only hope. (signed) Angry despairing citizen who wants his floors to stay clean and the Media dog to act responsibly Dear Citizen, You've got a problem, all right. But don't despair - dogs like Media secretly want and need the discipline of the pack to be happy and non-destructive. It will take some work and determination, but you can retrain her to become a useful member of the household and to respect your leadership once again. In fact, you can take a few tips from Gov. Palin in this regard. But first let's review the basics of dog training. Dogs learn by associating outcomes with behaviors. That's the basis of what we professionals call 'operant conditioning'. The dog operates on the environment and learns from the results. Behaviors that result in good things (rewards) get repeated. Rewards can be treats, praise, invitations to Sunday talk shows, subscription income, ad revenues, web page hits, links from other web sites. Anything that Media really wants is a potential reward. Lots of people make the mistake of relying on punishment to change a dog's behavior -- you know, the rolled-up paper threat for peeing on the floor. However, punishment is tricky to get right and can even be counterproductive unless it's done correctly. There are actually four levers you have in training the Media dog or a killer whale or your annoying neighbors. They are: a) Positive reinforcement -- giving the dog something she wants in response to a behavior you want b) Negative reinforcement -- removing something she dislikes in response to a behavior you want c) Positive punishment -- hitting, yelling etc. i.e. doing something she dislikes in response to a behavior you don't want d) Negative punishment -- removing something she likes in response to a behavior you don't want Of these four levers, positive reinforcement is by far the most effective in training a new behavior. (Stopping an unwanted behavior is a harder issue that we'll get to later in this column.) Giving a treat or praise whenever Media sits, comes when called, writes a fair and balanced news article -- this is the best way to train her to do something you want. Catch her doing it, even imperfectly, and treat her: she's bound to do it more often in hopes of getting rewarded again. When she does it really well, give her a particularly coveted treat: "extras for excellence". Sometimes, though, the behavior we want is overshadowed by the dog's instincts or acquired habits. Then we move to negative reinforcement: opening the door only when the dog quiets down, continuing on a walk only when she stops pulling at the lead. That sort of thing. Negative punishment can be very effective as well. In my house, a dog that growls over a chew bone in my presence goes in a crate for a timeout. Quite often that's all it takes to change that unwanted behavior. If a behavior is particularly dangerous, we might consider the carefully targeted use of positive punishment. My boy Charlie, now happily flushing birds in that great hunting field in the sky, had this down to a science when he was alpha dog of the pack here. When one of the other dogs disrupted the pack, taking away food or chewies from others for instance, Charlie stepped in. BOOM!!! Out of nowhere he would appear and in an instant the other dog was down on the ground with Charlie's fangs an inch from her neck. The look in Charlie's eyes said "Do it again and die." Not until the offender submitted did Charlie let her up. Why not rely on positive punishment alone? Unfortunately, for positive punishment to be effective it has to be immediate, consistent and credible. Charlie couldn't maintain order if he overlooked bad behavior sometimes or if he wasn't around to catch it. He couldn't come up to the offender an hour later and start whining about her behavior or nagging her to do better, either. And that look in his eye, the rumble deep in his throat and his bared teeth had to present a credible threat of real consequences. Only when all 3 conditions are met does positive punishment work. Okay, so these are the tools you have to work with in training Media: positive and negative reinforcement, positive and negative punishment. Now let's look at how to apply them in a comprehensive retraining program. Normally I would recommend that you "train a conflicting behavior". I.e. -- if she begs at the dinner table, train a "down" command and reward her for staying down while you eat. It's not going to be all kibble and treats in your case, however, because Media has already discovered all sorts of strong rewards for doing things you don't like, like biased coverage of Republican candidates and slanted reporting of war activities. She gets access to political influence, invitations to swank insider parties, TV time and a chance to influence elections as a result of her behaviors. So it's not surprising that she isn't paying any attention to you when you call her to heel. What gets rewarded gets repeated, so Media's behavior has gotten totally out of hand. She's messing on your political floor and using doctored photos from insurgents and the other party's sympathizers. Try to reprimand her and she threatens to tear out your throat, expose your divorce records or drag your kids through the mud with slimy rumors and innuendo. In cases like this we move directly to punishment to end this dangerous behavior before we can retrain Media into better habits. Remember the 3 requirements for punishment: to be effective it must be immediate, consistent and credible. Immediate: Any misbehavior on Media's part must generate an instantaneous response. Emails to the editor, columns on blogs, TV interviews exposing Media's actions -- be prepared to respond quickly and forcefully when she steps out of line. Consistent: This will take help. You, your family and your friends need to watch Media constantly. Fact-check her articles. Demand full transcripts and raw video from interviews and examine them for bias. Do not let a single offense slip by unnoticed. This will require great dedication on your part. It means someone you love will have to sit through Keith Olbermann and Chris Matthews daily. Just keep telling yourself that this won't go on forever -- you will retrain Media with some effort and persistence. Credible: Above all, every egregious misbehavior by Media must trigger an immediate response that credibly threatens Media with consequences she really doesn't want. Such as: Try to swing this election and we will not only expose what you're doing, cancel subscriptions and write to advertisers, we will also organize a massive effort to elect the candidate you're trashing. In fact, we will organize a backlash that just might retake Congress too. Some behaviors are so egregious, so dangerous, that they demand a truly existential threat in response. So what is the equivalent of "do it again and DIE" for Media? It's withholding interviews and demanding independent videotaping of them, with the raw footage to go online immediately. It's developing alternate sources of reporting and analysis like Pajamas Media and weblogs. It's aggressive threats of libel lawsuits where appropriate. And above all it's having reformer politicians who are not going to Washington to seek Media's good favor, but who are going there to serve the people of this country. Media has bared her teeth at you and me. The first step in retraining her is to show no fear. The second step is to make it clear to her that we will be respected.If that works, Media can begin to get treats again for good behavior. And if not, well .... Sadly, there are dogs that just can't be rehabilitated and need to be put down. PS: Don't be surprised if Media's misbehavior gets worse and worse as you begin this training program. It's quite common for your dog to try harder and harder to assert the behavior she's used to being rewarded for. Animal behaviorists call this an "extinction burst" and note that it is worst just before they finally quit trying. Parents of toddlers know this as the "I'm not TIRED !!!!" tantrum that immediately preceeds falling fast asleep. Just stick to the program and Media will eventually give up. But remember: immediate, consistent and credible punishment for every misbehavior from here on out until she does. Posted by: lotp 2008-09-14 |
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