February 21, 2004

Dear President Bush,

Over the last week, you and your campaign have initiated a widespread attack on my service in Vietnam, my decision to speak out to end that war, and my commitment to the defense of this nation. Just today, Saxby Chambliss-- a man elected to the US Senate on the back of one of the most despicable campaigns ever conducted against Max Cleland, a true American Hero-- was carrying this attack for you.

As you well know, Vietnam was a very difficult and painful period in our nation’s history, and the struggle for our veterans continues. So, it has been hard to believe that you would choose to re-open these wounds for your personal political gain. But, that is what you have chosen to do.

I am fighting to become the presidential nominee of the Democratic Party. Even before Democrats make their choice, you’ve launched a campaign of attacks against me. I am determined to run a campaign on the great challenges facing this country-- from creating jobs, to solving our health care crisis to getting our nation’s ballooning deficit under control. But I will not sit back and allow my patriotism to be challenged.

America deserves a better debate. If you want to debate the Vietnam era, and the impact of our experiences on our approaches to presidential leadership, I am prepared to do so.

This is not a debate to be distorted through your $100 million dollar campaign fund. This is a debate that should be conducted face to face.
Mr. President, I hope you will conduct a campaign worthy of this nation’s future.

Sincerely,
John Kerry

Dear Whiney Senator John Friggin Krybaby,

After six-months listening to charges of being AWOL, liar, cheat, murder, and just plain stupid I find your letter most comical. You did your time in Nam and you have a fine record there. When you returned you dishonored yourself and accused you fellow soldiers of despicable war crimes. If that wrong please correct YOUR testimony before Congress.

As for flying fighter jets and not going to Vietnam. While no one was shooting at me I was intercepting TU-95s over the North Pole while flying an outdated Fighter. Not exactly work for the faint of heart or pussies. Of course we didn’t have the cheap liquor and whores to visit after the mission either. Is that where you sustained your ‘war’ injuries? Can we view your medical records for that time period?

Exactly how long did you expect to run around the country leveling charges about me, my administration, and my family before we responded? So you don’t have a large election budget? Well blame that on the ‘reform’ you idiots passed in Congress (you voted for it). Maybe your wife will loan you a few bucks if you ‘take care of business’ (if you know what I mean). Or possibly you can get that Capitalists turned Commie Soros to channel money to you. But that not my problem!

I loved to write more but I have a team building seminar with my staff this afternoon. We're racing diesel trucks on the Artic refuge and then clubbing harp seals for dinner. You should try it sometime. On Monday I have a meeting with my dark overlords at Haliburton and Exxon. We are shaving puppies and using a sling shot to fire them into shark infested waters (WHAT FUN).

See you on the Campaign trail,
W