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Gophers, I Mean Golfers arrested after fighting off gang attempting to steal clubs
Eight people were arrested following the incident at Sundridge Park Golf Course on Sunday. Two youths, aged 17 and 13 were also taken to south London hospitals with head injuries. The 17-year-old is in stable condition in hospital while the 13-year-old was later discharged and subsequently arrested.
Officer: "Sir, how many times did you hit him in the head?
Golfer: "I don't know 3 maybe 4. Put me down for a 3".
According to reports, the players were about to tee off on the fourth hole of the course in Bromley, Kent, when they were confronted by a group of teenagers brandishing planks of wood.

Despite the group threatening to attack them if they did not hand over their golfing equipment, the golfers apparently fought back. An eyewitness, who did not wish to be named, said: "Everyone had a weapon and they were just trading blows.
There's nothing like the sound of a Driver hitting the side of some Punk's punkin. Kinda rounds out the game.
"The golfers stood their ground, though. I guess because they had their clubs as protection."
There is more than one reason they are called Clubs.
As well as the 13-year-old, two other teenagers were arrested, including a 15-year-old boy from Downham and a 16-year-old boy from St Mary Cray on suspicion of affray.
Suspicion of Affray? That's a new one.
A 33-year-old woman, from Downham, and a 49-year-old man, from Plaistow, have been arrested on the affray charges.
Can't upset the other Golfers now can we.
Officers also arrested a 53-year-old man, from Hayes, on suspicion of causing actual bodily harm and a 48-year-old man, from Keston, on suspicion of causing GBH, while a 39-year-old man, from Plaistow, was arrested on suspicion of disorderly conduct.
GBH= Great Bodily Harm I guess. A Driver to the noggin will do that.
A four-iron is better. But don't use a one-iron -- not even God can hit a one-iron. Old Lee Trevino joke there. Ok, very old.
Robert Walden, Sundridge Park general manager, said there will be a full inquiry about what happened. Mr Walden said: "I cannot say who was at fault and who was not at fault yesterday.
Seems to me that if the punks haden't threatened the golfers there would not have been any mayhem, ergo, the punks are at fault. English logic excapes me.
"We just do not know what happened. We will be dealing with the matter in full with a full inquiry when information is available."

A Metropolitan Police spokesman said: "We can confirm there was an incident at Sundridge Park Golf Course on Sunday, May 10 at 17:00 hrs
Brilliant deduction!
"Several youths descended on the golf course and allegedly started being abusive and threatening golfers. There were several altercations between them and golfers. At one stage a large group of people, thought to be relatives of the youths, arrived at the golf course and joined in the altercation.
A Free-for-all! A regular Bashing!
"Police and ambulance attended. Two youths were taken to south London hospitals with head injuries.
A head is much easier to hit than a golf ball.
And perhaps easier to, um, slice ...
"A 17-year-old was in a stable condition in hospital today and a 13-year-old male was treated, but later discharged.
He has a golf-ball sized lump on his punkin with the word PING indented.
"Eight arrests have been made. Seven at the scene and one this morning at a home address. All arrested are still in custody. Further arrests are expected."
Posted by: Deacon Blues 2009-06-22
http://www.rantburg.com/poparticle.php?ID=272602