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Oregon county decides - Better Safe than Sorry
EFL- No it isnât not Scrappleface. Could Oregon wackiness possibly be the result of contamination leeching across the states Southern border?
Confused by the twists and turns of the US gay marriage issue, Oregonâs Benton County has decided to err on the side of caution and ban all weddings.
| "We are, like, soooo confused!" |
Until the state decides who can and cannot wed, officials in the county have said no-one can marry - even heterosexual couples.
| "Dats right! Everybody just shack up! You, too, Grandmaw!" |
They hit upon the plan to ensure that none of the countyâs 79,000 residents are subject to unfair treatment.
| "Yeah. We decided to make sure that nobody gets treated unfairly by treating everybody unfairly. That makes sense, don't it?" |
The last Benton County marriage licences were issued on Tuesday and, from now on, any locals wanting to get hitched will have to go elsewhere. The decision has found favour with pro-gay marriage activists who argue that at least it sends a clear message that everyone is entitled to equal rights: "It is certainly a different way for county commissioners to respect their constitutional obligation to apply the law equally to everyone," said Rebekah Kassell, a spokeswoman for Basic Rights Oregon. "We appreciate that they are willing to say they are not going to participate in discrimination."
| "And we're happy to cheese off the other approximately 95 percent of the population, 'cuz we don't give a spit about them..." |
But anti-gay marriage campaigners are not impressed: "We are happy Benton County is not going to violate the law by issuing illegal marriage licenses, but we are perplexed as to why they would not issue legal licenses," said Tim Nashif, spokesman for the Defense of Marriage Coalition.
| "It don't make no sense, but what the hell? They're liberals. They seldom make any sense." |
"Oregon not only has the only county in the nation issuing illegal (same-sex) marriage licenses, we probably have the only county in the nation refusing to issue marriage licenses at all."
Too bad they will probably still allow county citizens to procreate. They need to test the water supply.
Posted by: Super Hose 2004-03-25 |
