Exquisite timing, guys. You get a nice little bump when Sauroman gets converted into a pavement stain, and all the crocodiles who lead the nations of the world get out their pre-moistened towelettes and pretend to squeeze out a few tears. So how do you capitalize on this moment? The ”world community” is outraged that Israel smoked a guy who sent men to kill children, so naturally: you send a child to kill men.

Job security for the engineers of Hell. Ordinary Hell isn’t enough for the guys who send out these kids; they’re going to have to open a new wing of Extra Special Ultra Hell, aka Satan's Playroom. As I heard someone on the radio say the other day, for the 164,232nd time: they have no choice but to use suicide bombers, because they don’t have a conventional military. I have never quite understood that logic. Okay, so we give them Apache helicopters so they can strafe buses from overhead?

If we give them lots of Stinger missiles, perhaps they will promise only to use suicide bombers who’ve completed puberty.