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Canadaâs troops to reclaim Arctic
Five-year plan to âput footprints in the snowâ and assert northern sovereigntyby Adrian Humphreys, The National Post EFL Canada is launching an extensive five-year plan to march soldiers through all of its uninhabited Arctic territory in the largest bid yet to exert sovereignty over its northern domain, an area drawing increasing international attention and conflicting territorial claims. "We must reclaim this uninhabited frozen wasteland for Canada, eh!" "Why is that, Doug?" "So some other hosehead country doesnât take it by adverse possession." "Ah, Doug?" "Yeah, Bob?" "What other country would want it?" "I dunno. Want another Moosehead?" "Yeah. Beauty, eh?" The enhanced northern security and sovereignty efforts encompass both low-tech manpower and cutting-edge science, ranging from patrols by soldiers driving snowmobiles and carrying antique rifles (which are more reliable in the biting cold), to an intensive satellite surveillance system to monitor the Arctic from space, the National Post has learned. "Allright you, there! Youâre violating Canadian territory. Stop, or Iâll shoot!" "Ah, Doug, we donât have any budget for ammunition." "Oh. Okay. Well, ah, stop or Iâll . . . beat you like a baby seal!" "Ah, Doug?" "Yeah, Bob." "That is a baby seal." "Oh." "Weâre putting footprints in the snow where they are not normally put," said Colonel Norris Pettis, who as commander of Canadian Forces Northern Area is the ranking military officer in the north. I pity the poor bloody, er, frozen, infantry who have to go do it. Posted by: Mike 2004-03-25 |
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