John Kerry? What were we thinking?
Hat tip to Robert Prather.
By JIM SHEA (THE HARTFORD COURANT)Dear Fellow Kerry Supporter:
We may have made a horrible mistake.
May?
We may have backed the wrong guy.
May?
Granted, it was difficult to stick with Howard after it became apparent he wasnât wrapped all that tight,
[Really? When did you first notice?]
but perhaps we were a bit hasty in jumping on the Kerry bandwagon. So far, the Kerry campaign has all the forward momentum of a Dukakis tank ride.
With, hopefully, similar results.
Since sewing up the nomination, the two most memorable things John Kerry has done are go on vacation and have surgery. Recently, he went for a bike ride in Boston - and fell off. You tie that mishap together with the shoulder injury he sustained - riding on a bus - and Kerryâs just a staircase header away from wrenching the Slapstick in Chief title away from Gerald Ford.
Ouch! Heh.
Besides the walking-and-chewing-gum problem, Kerry is also turning out to be quite the gasbag.
[No, really?]
Heâs one of those people who if you say nice night to him, he wants to explain the cosmos. I mean, two minutes of listening to Kerry these days and youâre longing for the excitement of a Joe Lieberman foreign-policy speech. The thing is, we Democrats didnât endorse Kerry because of his intellect;
[Jeez, donât tell him that - heâll get upset]
we got behind him because we thought he would go nose-to-nose with President Bush. Now weâre not so sure. Since securing the nomination, Kerry has been whacked around more than Larry, Curly and Moe put together.
Double ouch! LOL
What happened to the "Iâm a fighter" thing? What happened to "bring it on?" Gee, I dunno - ask President Bush.
Itâs so bad that Kerry has even let the Republicans get away with criticizing his war record.
When and where? Unless you spell "war" "s-e-n-a-t-e v-o-t-i-n-g"
What Kerry is failing to recognize is that everybody is already Tongue Fu
[GREAT description]
fighting and their ads are fast as lightning. And if he doesnât "bring it on" now, itâs going to be hasta la vista, baby.
Ahhnoldâs running for Prez?
The bottom line, fellow Democrats, is this. If Kerry doesnât show some spunk soon, we should start thinking about nominating someone at the convention who will. Dean - with the right medication -
[Thorazine and Stellazine?]
remains a viable option.
Sincerely, Howard Beale
(Still mad as hell.) Ooo, somebodyâs got a severe case of buyerâs remorse. Unfortunately for him (and others), I think Kerryâs got enough votes to be able to sue the Convention for specific performance and win. August should be fun.
Posted by: Barbara Skolaut 2004-05-14 |