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Two plane hijackers 'beaten to death by passengers' in China
[news.com.au] TWO men who allegedly tried to hijack a plane in China were beaten to death by passengers and crew.
A pack, not a herd...
The Global Times newspaper reported that two of the suspects died in hospital from injuries they suffered during the ensuing fight with passengers and crew on board.
"Doctor Casey! They're sinking fast! Oh, what shall we do?"
"Hmmm... Should we have a late lunch at Dino's? Or should we just knock off early and go dancing?"
"What about the patients?"
"Somebody'll put them on ice when they finally peg out."

The men were part of a six-strong gang involved in the foiled hijack of a Tianjin Airlines flight bound for the regional capital of Urumqi last Friday.
"Mahmoud? Are you sure that's a good idea?"
"No. But it's our Islamic duty."
"Well, okay then. But I get to make a martyr's video!"

Just minutes after the flight took off from Hetian, southwest Xinjiang, the men, all aged between 20 and 36, stood up and announced their plans to terrified passengers.
"Arrrr! We're terrorists an' we're takin' over this plane!"
"Oh, we're so frightened."

The gang reportedly broke a pair of aluminium crutches and used them to attack passengers while attempting to break into the cockpit, Hou Hanmin, a regional government spokeswoman said.
"Mother's crutches! They broke Mother's crutches! The bastards!"
They were tackled by police and passengers
"Let's roll!"
who tied them up with belts before the plane, carrying 101 people, returned to the airport safely just 22 minutes later.
"Mr. Wang! Are you sure that belt's not too tight around the miscreant's neck? He's turning blue!"
"Don't worry about it. He was that color when he came on board."
"Yeah, I seen it, too."
"That's right. He commented on it to me!"
"Heh heh!"
"Heh heh!"
"'He was that color when he come on board!' [Snicker!]"

Hanmin added that police were still testing materials they had been carrying, thought to be explosives.
[Sniff!]
"What's it smell like, Sergeant Xiu?"
"Either some kinda cheese or C4. I can't make up my mind!"
"What's it taste like?"
"Either C4 or Liederkranz. I still can't decide..."

The men were reported to be Uighurs, the local Muslim ethnic minority. Dilxat Raxit,
... a close relative of Nurse Raxit...
spokesman for the German-based World Uyghur Congress which campaigns for Uighurs' rights, said that it wasn't a hijacking attempt, rather an in-flight brawl over a seat dispute. "We warn China not to use this incident as another excuse for crackdown," he said in an emailed statement.
... which has left all the Han Chinese ever so frightened. All the party members are hysterical.
Two more suspects are reportedly being treated in hospital after mutilating themselves.
"Whoa! Chopped 'em right off, did they?"
"Betcha that hurt."
"Betcha it still does."

Posted by: Fred 2012-07-04
http://www.rantburg.com/poparticle.php?ID=347740