Kansas Couple Arrested For Walmart Secks
A pair of frisky Kansans are facing criminal charges after they allegedly swiped some K-Y Jelly from a Walmart and actually began trysting inside the big box retailer, cops report.
"Hey, honey! Whut's this here stuff?"
"That there's KY Jelly, snuggle bunny!"
"Whut's it do?"
"Here, lemme show yew..."
The X-rated encounter Sunday evening resulted in the arrest of Julian Call, 22, and Tina Gianakon, 35, on theft and lewd and lascivious behavior charges, according to the Hutchinson Police Department.
"Hokey smoke, Julian! That there stuff works purdy good!"
"Lemme show yew whut else it does!"
Witnesses told officers that the couple was openly fondling each other in full view of fellow Walmart shoppers (which resulted in the lewd and lascivious charges).
"Here, you two! Stop that! Yer curdling the milk!"
"I wuz just showin' Tina, here, whutcha do with KY Jelly!"
"I never knew you could do that! It's frightening!"
Additionally, the pair was accused of shoplifting the sexual lubricant and other items.
"Julian! Whut's that stuff there do?"
"Here, lemme show yew!"
"Put that back! And pull yer pants up! Both of you!"
Posted by: Fred