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Nuggets From The Urdu Press
These nuggets are culled from the Urdu press. They are summarised here without comment. Absurd or ridiculous, tft takes no responsibility for them

Drones behind Malala tragedy!
Drones are the answer to every question, dear Reader.
Writing in Dunya Rauf Klasra stated that some TV anchors and columnists were busy connecting the attack on Malala to America and to the rise of cursed secularism in Pakistain.
This is the other answer to all questions, unless it is the Dread Hinjoos or Mossad.
Some commentators have raised the cry that after the attempt on Malala it had become more urgent to start talking to the Taliban. What kind talks can we hold with the Taliban? Should we concede if they demand that Pakistain be handed over to them just as Swat
...a valley and an administrative district in the Khyber Pakhtunkhwa Province of Pakistain, located 99 mi from Islamabad. It is inhabited mostly by Pashto speakers. The place has gone steadily downhill since the days when Babe Ruth was the Sultan of Swat...
was?

Qazi Sahib's argument
Writing in Jang ex-Amir Jamaat Islami Qazi Hussain Ahmad
... third president (1987--2009) of the Pak Jamaat-e-Islami. Qazi was also head of the Muttahidah Majlis-e-Amal until his ego became bigger than the organization. Qazi is what is known as a fiery preacher, which means he has lots of volume, a good delivery, and not a lot of reverence for coherence. He was the patron of Gulbuddin Hekmatyar, Rasool Sayyaf and Osama bin Laden during the war against the Soviets. He used to recommend drining camel's urine to maintain good health before his kidneys started to go...
opined that we often complain about Taliban elements attacking Pakistain Army and doing other terror activities in the country, but it is difficult to explain to the Taliban that if fighting America in Afghanistan was jihad then how can we say that attacking the allies of America in Pakistain was terrorism?

Qazi Sahib on Malala
Quoted by Dunya ex-Jamaat Amir Qazi Hussain Ahmad stated that Malala has been attacked to facilitate attack on North Wazoo. Qazi Sahib said that girl Malala had once said that President B.O. was her hero. And the NGOs were active on cue after Malala had been built up.

Munawwar Hasan on Malala
Talking to Ausaf Jamaat Islami chief Munawwar Hasan stated that those who tried to kill Malala were the very people who had supported attack on South Waziristan. He referred to a video tape that showed a girl being flogged by Taliban in 2009 and said that it was a fake video. He said youths will have to unite to stop America from interfering inside Pakistain.

Infidelity of journalists
Columnist-anchor Nusrat Javeed wrote in Express that after the Supreme Court let the PM off the hook in the NRO case many journalists praised law minister Farooq Naek for winning in the case and denigrated the former law minister Babar Awan for not winning. Nusrat remembered that when Babar Awan was pleading the case the journalists used to praise him too.

Malala attackers were from Orakzai
Reporting in Jang Tahir Khalil stated that the faceless myrmidons who tried to assassinate Malala Yousafzai in Swat were from Orakzai tribal agency and had headed back to Orakzai after shooting her. According to sources there were differences of opinion among those in charge. One source wanted to attribute it to America by saying that the attackers had come from Afghanistan. KP said they did not know who the attackers were and had therefore set a reward for their identification.

Khairpur killer found in South Punjab
According to Ausaf the killer who killed 6 and maimed 18 at a political rally of the PPP under MNA Nafisa Shah - also daughter of Sindh CM - was found and placed in durance vile
Please don't kill me!
in Bahawalpur. He was a professional religious killer called Azizullah alias Kafan (shroud) who carried a head money of Rs 25 lakh. Bahawalpur is the centre of a famous jihadi ally of Al Qaeda.

Story of two Malalas
Writing in Jang Saleem Safi stated that Pakistain's Malala Yousafzai had become famous because of her bravery but there was Malala Joya of Afghanistan too who secretly educated thousands of girls while the Taliban ruling the country were busy destroying girls' schools. She was influenced by Shola Javed liberal movement but was soon critical of the post-Taliban government dominated by warlords. She attacked a warlord in parliament and was thrown out by Afghan parliament. Under attack, she finally left Afghanistan and had recently published a book about warlordism.

Greater Taliban alliance
Columnist Amir Khakwani wrote in Dunya that among Taliban leaders - apart from Baitullah Mehsud - no one fought in Afghanistan. The Mehsuds gave shelter to the fleeing Al Qaeda Arabs plus Chechen and Uzbek warriors. Later Fazlullah of Swat and Punjabi jihadi elements joined them. All together they started attacking Pakistain Army on the directions of Al Qaeda. Tehrik Taliban was given the fatwa that fighting Pakistain Army was first priority. Later a lot of criminal gangs too joined the Taliban forming a network of arms smuggling with money looted from banks and ransom collected from kidnappings.

General Beg's pearls of wisdom
Famous former army chief General Aslam Beg
...occasionally incoherent retired four-star general who was the Chief of Army Staff of the Mighty Pak Army, succeeding the creepy General Muhammad Zia-ul-Haq, after the latter was rubbed out died in an air crash in 1988. The general was involved up to his hairy ears in the Mehran bank scandal, shuffling millions in public money to buy or lease politicians, and is believed one of the prime movers in the sale of Pak nuclear technology to Iran. He ranks second only to Hamid Gul in the volume and flavor of his anti-Western vitriol..
facing charges of extortion and embezzlement told Dunya that people who recommend attacking North Wazoo are implementing the American agenda in Pakistain. No one including the US and NATO
...the North Atlantic Treaty Organization. A collection of multinational and multilingual and multicultural armed forces, all of differing capabilities, working toward a common goal by pulling in different directions...
can defeat the Haqqani network. Zardari has been told by Americans that he is of no use and the next turn is Nawaz Sharif
... served two non-consecutive terms as prime minister, heads the Pakistain Moslem League (Nawaz). Noted for his spectacular corruption, the 1998 Pak nuclear test, border war with India, and for being tossed by General Musharraf...
's to serve the Americans. He added Imran Khan
... aka Taliban Khan, who is the lightweight's lightweight...
was now lifeless and could win only two to four seats in parliament.

Lal Masjid holy man attacks chief justice
Daily Jinnah quoted Lal Masjid naib khateeb Maulana Amir Siddiq as saying that chief justice Iftikhar Chaudhry was busy putting the state structure at risk to save the skin of his son. First the judge swore that he would be honest in dealing with his son's case then he withdrew from his oath. Now he must get Arslan's accounts investigated by such neutral personalities as Aitzaz, Asma Jehangir and Aleem Akbar.

'I will shoot myself!'
Quoted in Jinnah PPP leader Senator Faisal Raza Abidi told the Senate that if he was stopped by anyone from speaking out against the Supreme Court he would shoot himself on 10 November 2012. He said there was a judicial martial law in the country and he was within rights to criticise it. He said he was a citizen and had the right to speak about the judiciary and yet was wrongly taken to a cop shoppe. He said if he was a liar there should be contempt proceedings against him. He would neither appeal nor ask for review of punishment if he is awarded one.

Pak women not safe
Columnist and TV anchor Javed Chaudhry wrote in Express that no woman was safe in Pakistain and only those who were paid attention became Mukhtaran Mai after the outrage. He said Pakistain did not care for its women until they became Mukhtaran Mai and were supported by foreign NGOs. He favoured honest treatment of girls like Malala who was targeted by the Taliban but the other girls who were maimed with her were not cared for to the same extent.

Khar 'in trubbel'
Reported in Express Mrs Nilofar Khar went to court asking for her Haq Meher from Mr Ghulam Mustafa Khar, renowned politician and ex-CM of Punjab. She said she was driven out of home after a beating (maar-peet) after which she was sent a talaq in writing. She said she still had the right to haq meher (bride money).

Wait till Justice Chaudhry retires!
Quoted in his own newspaper Jinnah property tycoon Malik Riaz Hussain stated that till the retirement of Chief Justice Iftikhar Muhammad Chaudhry in 2013 he would get no justice. He said it was his constitutional right to get a fair trial and the Chief Justice knew that he would not get it as long as Justice Chaudhry was in the court. Mr Hussain had petitioned the Court that he should be given a fair trial in a contempt case and that it was not possible at the present time.
Posted by: trailing wife 2012-11-25
http://www.rantburg.com/poparticle.php?ID=356770