E-MAIL THIS LINK
To: 

Woman Dies After Taking Off Clothes At Caliphornia Market
[LOSANGELES.CBSLOCAL] Police are investigating a mysterious death at a market in Santa Ana.
If this isn't the first chapter in a science fiction novel it should be.
Or the opening sentence in the Bulwer-Lytton fiction contest...
A woman was acting violently Wednesday at El Toro Carniceria-Meat Shop at 1340 West 1st Street when a security guard placed her in handcuffs, according to Sherlocks.
"What do you make of it, Professor Doddard?"
A witness said she was behaving erratically and began removing her clothes.
"I think the fact that she's naked is significant, Jim!"
"She was jumping like crazy. "
"Jumping how? Like a frog? Or high jumping?"
"Why, I couldn't say..."
"This is important, Jim!"

And then she made a mess inside the liquor store.
"Yes. Yes! Projectile diarrhea! It all fits!"
And that's why the security guard had to do what he had to do, and grab her and handcuff her," Joseph Castellan said.
"Let me see those handcuffs!"
"Well, sure, Professor... Hey! They're gone!"

Moments later, she died.
"Just like that?"
Detectives have not released the identity of the woman.
"And that, Jim, may be just the piece of information we need!"
Posted by: Fred 2014-09-27
http://www.rantburg.com/poparticle.php?ID=400828