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World's 12 Worst Inventions
From the "gold standard" in major media credibility, Weekly World News:
Wacky genius slams... WORLD'S 12 WORST INVENTIONS
By Vickie York
Scientist Reginald Powtley calls himself an "uninventor" -- instead of inventing gadgets, he identifies stuff that should never have been created in the first place! "There are many inventions that are unnecessary, stupid or even dangerous," the London expert says.
Yeah, like hippies and alphabet news networks, both products of ad industry research.
Here, from Powtley, are 12 of the worst inventions of all time: 1. Pay Toilet. A great idea unless you really have to go and have no change in your pocket.
A favorite of high-school debate teams. Hundreds of bills have been introduced to stamp out these diabolical devices. Unfortunately, they are as resilient as cockroaches and continue to exploit the desperate and needy at airports and bus terminals all over the world.
2. Single knob for hot and cold water in sinks. One knob for hot, one for cold was more user-friendly.
These things are an abomination. My house has its original 1939 Art-Deco fixtures (refurbished several times since, obviously), and I want to keep it that way.
3. Giant Shetland pony. Not all genetic engineering serves a purpose.
Perfect companion for the new miniature Clydesdale.
4. Helicopter ejector seat. "The Russian military obviously didn't think this idea through," Powtley notes.
According to British aviation historian Bill Gunston, one version of the HH-53 actually did have ejection seats for the two pilots. I'm not sure about the details, but they were apparently timed to fire between the rotor blades. If any of you AF or Navy types have more info, let us know.
5. Inflatable dart board.
"Non-competitive sports" accessory for mult-cult/PC schools.
6. Solar-powered flashlight.
A Sierra Club catalog exclusive.
7. Fireproof cigarette.
Nanny-state activist/neurotic control-freak: "Eureka! The final solution!"
8. Mesh umbrella. Although quite trendy in Manhattan now, it's useless.
In response to the nefarious Halliburton plot to warm the globe by depleting the ozone layer, all future umbrellas will be made from tin-foil.
9. Pedal-powered wheelchair.
There was an article here at Rantburg about a jet-powered wheelchair. Add a cow-catcher and it would be just the thing for disabled veterans confronting anti-war thugs.
10. Auto-mind-reader. "Invented by Japanese software engineers, it supposedly 'lets you hear your own thoughts,' " Powtley explains.
A hot seller among tech-minded lefties.
11. Doggie Sweater. What for? Dogs already have fur.
So do anti-war protestors, but we still try to make them wear clothes (not always successfully).
12. Antivampire collar. Notes Powtley: "This highfashion chain collar is easily penetrated by vampire fangs -- and actually attracts the undead if worn at night." A great way to pick up chicks at an antiwar rally, though.
Posted by: Atomic Conspiracy 2004-10-07 |
