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Marriage lasts 90 minutes
SCOTT McKie and Victoria Anderson were looking forwards to a life of wedded bliss as they tied the knot. But an hour and a half - and a series of drunken assaults - later, divorce was looming fast.
"I do!"
"I do!"
"Bitch!"
"Arsehole!"
"I want a divorce!"
The tale of what has been billed one of Britain's least successful ever marriages ended with 23-year-old McKie being dragged from his own wedding reception by police, newspapers reported today.
I hate it when that happens, don't you?
"The party was just ruined!"
According to the reports, the happy marriage lasted for all of 90 minutes before Anderson, enraged at a drunken toast to the bridesmaids by her new husband at their reception, violently hit him over the head with an ashtray.
"Take this, you bastard! KAPOW!"
He responded by taking a hat-stand at the pub in a suburb of Manchester, northwest England, where the party was taking place, and hurling it towards the bar "like a javelin", according to witnesses.
"Look out! He's got a hatstand!"
Police were called and McKie headbutted one officer and punched another before being dragged to the cells, at which point 40-year-old Anderson cancelled their honeymoon and began divorce proceedings.
"Hello, Mom? We're not going to Bermuda!"
The sorry tale was recounted at Manchester Crown Court, where McKie pleaded guilty to a series of charges including attempted wounding and assault, receiving a community service punishment. McKie's lawyer told the court that everyone involved had been "very, very drunk at the time".
Gee, I never would have guessed.

Posted by: Steve 2004-12-03
http://www.rantburg.com/poparticle.php?ID=50332