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Stripper Wins Damages After Tiger Attack (very revealing)
 A stripper mauled by a tiger in an Ontario safari park has won $650,000 in damages because her scars meant she could no longer work, Canadian media said on Friday. Jennifer-Anne Cowles was driving through the park nearly nine years ago with her then boyfriend when a tiger jumped into their car and tried to drag them away.
| "Hello, OnStar? There's a tiger in our car, trying to drag us away!" |
The two insisted their windows had been shut when the tiger charged, although the park had challenged that. The judge accepted the couple's testimony that the power windows had been inadvertently lowered when one of the big cats bumped against the car, frightening them.
"Jennifer-Anne! We're being attacked by tigers!"
"Right. I'll just lock the doors and... Oops. That was the power window button, wudn't it?" |
In a ruling delivered on Thursday and reported in a number of Canadian newspapers, Justice Jean MacFarland said she could only imagine the "stark terror experienced by these young people during this horrendous event."
| "The horror! They're chewing the fine Corinthian leather!" |
She awarded Cowles some $650,000 in damages, almost half of it to compensate for income she would have made as a stripper.
"You think anybody's gonna part with a twenty when they see these?"
"Whoa! Are those stretch marks?"
"No! They're... Ummm... Tiger claw marks!" |
Her musician boyfriend, David Balac, won C$1.7 million, because his injuries left him unable to work as an accordion player.
| An accordion player. That makes it perfect. And he'll never play the violin again... |
African Lion Safari, near Hamilton, Ontario, west of Toronto, said it is reviewing the ruling, but it insisted the park was safe. "Hundreds of millions of people drive through safari style parks worldwide every decade and there are very few incidents causing injury," it said in a statement. "It is one of the safest activities you can do with your family."
Cats in the bag?
Posted by: Duke Nukem 2005-01-31 |
