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Vodka is the good guys' secret weapon in Ukranian election crisis
World Net Daily--a shameless promo for one of its subscription services--link via Instapundit. EFL'd.Don't know if this is true, but I hope it is. Dr. Jack Wheeler, creator of a unique intelligence website dubbed "the oasis for rational conservatives," shares how a gift of vodka and a little ingenuity helped Ukraine's Orange Revolution succeed, bringing the former Russian satellite onto President Bush's list of new democracies. . . . "Order now and you'll also get this Ginsu knife, a Garden Weasel, and a year's supply of Oxy Clean, blah blah blah blah, yadda yadda, operators are standing by!" "Eastern Ukraine is heavily ethnic Russian. The main industry is coal. The miners are rough, tough, and hate Yushchenko for wanting to take Ukraine away from Russia and toward the West," writes Wheeler. "It was arranged for more than a thousand of them to be taken from Donetsk, the capital of the coal-mining region, by bus and train to Kiev, where, armed with clubs and blunt tools, they would physically beat up the Orange Revolutionaries. Such mass violence was not only to disperse the demonstrators but serve as an excuse for the government to declare martial law, suspending the Ukrainian Parliament (the Rada) and elections indefinitely." "Comrades! We are burly ethinc Russian coal miners! Let us go to Kiev and smash puny little orange people with our hammers!" Now comes the secret weapon: vodka. "When the miners got on their buses and trains, they found to their joy case after case of vodka — just for them. "Comrades! While on way to Kiev to smash puny little orange people with our hammers, let us open bottles of manly socialist vodka and get hammered ourselves!" When they arrived in Kiev, trucks awaited them filled with more cases of vodka — all free provided by 'friends' of the Donetsk coal miners. "Is workers' paradise here in Kiev! Free vodka!" Completely soused, they never made it to Independence Square. Too hammered blind to cause any violence at all, they had a merry time, passed out and were shipped back to Donetsk." "Comrade, is that orange elephant I am seeink?" "Nyet, Pavel, is only vodka-induced hallucination. Get out from under table." Available only to subscribers of To the Point, "Call the number on your screen!" Wheeler's column goes on to explain who provided the liquor: teams of Porter Goss' CIA working with their counterparts in British MI6 intelligence. "Well, Bond, you've done it again." "Indeed, Q, the miners are too shaken and stirred to give us any trouble." Dear God, I hope our people are that good! Posted by: Mike 2005-02-01 |
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