Sheriff's deputies attempted to stop the van for driving erratically, prompting the kidnappers to try to speed off, eventually getting pinned by law enforcement at the end of a dead-end road.
"Whoa, Sylvester! Dat's a dead end road!"
"It be dead end for them too! They can't go nowhere!"
[Turn!]
"Sylvester, dat don't make no sense!"
The men attempted to escape by jumping into a canal and drowned, the DA's office said. Schanda was rescued from the van by Iberville Parish Sheriff deputies.
"C'mon! We'll jump in the canal an' swim away!"
"But..."
[SPLASH!] [SPLASH!]
"Help! Sylvester! I can't swim!"
"Neither can I, Arsenio!"
[Gurgle]
Handley — who made his fortune in the technology industry,
Not as a criminal mastermind...
as well as by selling vitamins and other supplements —
Multilevel marketing is not criminal.
was arrested at a hotel on Aug. 11 after he tried to charter a plane, according to USA Today.
"Quick! I need to charter a getaway plane!"
"Hang on just a sec! Hello? Police..."
Detectives from the Lafayette Police Department obtained videos and other evidence of Handley planning Schanda's kidnapping, such as renting the van and purchasing the handcuffs used by the kidnappers, the DA said.
"Hello? Is this J.C. Penney? How are you, J.C? Hey, listen, do you carry handcuffs?!"
According to court documents obtained by USA Today, the couple married in 2006, but the relationship soured and Handley filed for divorce in 2017 after multiple restraining orders were filed.
"I want a... ow!... divorce! Don't throw that! It's expensive! [crash!]"
Handley alleged that his wife had tried to hire a hitman to have him killed,
"Hello? Is this John Wick? My name's Schanda. I seen you in the movies and I got a job for you!"
while she alleged Handley had tried to track her phone and install spyware on her computer, according to the report.
"I HAVE SOMETHING NICE FOR YOU! OPEN THE ATTACHED DOCUMENT TO SEE WHAT IT IS."
Documents showed Handley had sent his wife threatening messages before the kidnapping, the outlet reported.
"SEND ANOTHER MOVIE STAR TO SHOOT ME AND I'LL HAVE YOU KIDNAPPED AND DROWNED! OPEN THE ATTACHMENT FOR DETAILS!"
Handley had previously attempted to plead not guilty by means of insanity in 2018, but was deemed mentally competent for trial.
"Judge, my client can't stand trial! He's a nut!"
"Right. He was sane enough to buy a Napoleon Bonapart outfit. He's sane enough to stand trial!"
He now faces up to 35 years in prison, a potential punishment he has come to terms with, his attorney said.
"What do you mean? Thirty five years?"