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ISWAP Terrorists Reportedly Challenge Rival Boko Haram To Gunfight In Sambisa Forest, 100+ toes up
[PUBLISH.TWITTER]
“Awwwwwright, you guys — line up! ISWAP in a line on my right, Boko boys on my left — in a line, you idiots! Look down at the ground, it’s painted there in white so all you have to do is stand on it! Jesus, Mary and Joseph, I haven’t seen a dumber group since I was teaching Boot Camp! ....Everybody on your line? Okay, now turn your back to the other team, and step out: ONE. TWO. THREE.... No, Abu Yusuf, it does not matter what foot he’s using. Pay attention to your own feet and let everyone else worry about theirs. Aaaaand halt! (Yes, I know they’re supposed to make two straight lines, Lieutenant, but some things are beyond expectation.) Aaaaaannd turn!”
At this point our hero was felled by a stray bullet, so he missed getting hit in the crossfire. The exercise, it was later reported, achieved 150% death rate between both parties and nearby civilians. |
[PUBLISH.TWITTER]
Posted by: Fred 2023-08-20 |
