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-Short Attention Span Theater-
’Phish’ Bassist Tries for Darwin Award
2003-08-20
A Phish is on the hook for endangering the welfare of a minor after he allegedly tried to take pictures of a young girl inside a deserted boathouse, according to a report. Mike Gordon, 38, was arrested after being found late at night in a secluded area with a 9-year-old girl. The girl’s parents raised an alarm when she disappeared from a backstage area at Jones Beach Theater, WNBC-TV reported. New York State Park Police say Gordon showed a different side after a concert last week by The Dead. Investigators say Gordon -- who calls himself "Cactus" -- was an invited guest backstage at Jones Beach. He was not invited, they say, to take a 9-year-old girl to an isolated location behind the theater. "The area is actually like a work area for state employees who operate boats out of that area," said Maj. Richard O’Donnell, of the New York State Park Police. "It’s a darkened area, not intended for public access."
Just where preverts like to take little girls.
O’Donnell, who is the region’s commanding officer, would not discuss what the bass player told officers when he was found with the child on a dock. But a police report obtained by WNBC-TV reveals "The defendant stated he wanted to take ’art photos’ of the victim."
Uh huh. Now before you get all bummed out, the story has a happy ending, at least for me.
The Law enforcement sources identify the girl’s father as a leader of the Hell’s Angels Motorcycle Club, whom they say had also been invited backstage to watch The Dead concert. Gordon was held for police by theater security "and the victim’s father’s associates -- which the police report describes as other Hell’s Angels members.
Oops!
The DA’s office says the evidence is being evaluated. Regardless of whether Gordon has to face a judge next month, law-enforcement sources say unofficial justice was already delivered. The Hell’s Angels, who detained Gordon for police, were not, the sources say, gentle with sensitive areas of the rock star’s body.
Bet he can hit those high notes now.
Posted by:Steve

#8  I know a few Bikers,as a rule they are an Honarable bunch.But when wronged thier sense of justice is swift,sure,and painfull.
Posted by: raptor   2003-8-21 7:22:42 AM  

#7  I 2nd Mojo. Back in the day, this guy would be another sort of buoy in the harbor, sleepin' wit' da fishes...
Posted by: Raj   2003-8-21 12:14:12 AM  

#6  A man that doe's that crap with a child needs to meet his maker, stomping the sick f__k is not enough.
Posted by: wills   2003-8-20 6:20:20 PM  

#5  Ya mean they didn't stomp his ass? The Angels are gettin' soft...
Posted by: mojo   2003-8-20 5:54:08 PM  

#4  Heh, given the reputation of the Hell's Angels, I'm surprised at the amount of restraint displayed by the father of the girl.
Posted by: Ptah   2003-8-20 5:48:45 PM  

#3  Sometimes things just work out.
Posted by: Shipman   2003-8-20 5:31:58 PM  

#2  The Law enforcement sources identify the girl’s father as a leader of the Hell’s Angels Motorcycle Club...

Oh, smart move, DUUUUUDE! He's lucky he still has any "sensitive areas" left.
Posted by: tu3031   2003-8-20 4:21:31 PM  

#1  beautiful, just beautiful. Luckyly, my beer was empty.
Posted by: john   2003-8-20 4:21:26 PM  

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