Dear
PRAISE ALLAH, THE MOST BENEVOLENT.
| I think you got the wrong address, lady... |
I am Mrs Iyesa Ismiana, named person from Kuwait. I am married to Late Malam Usman Ismiana of blessed memory who worked with Kuwait embassy in Nigeria for nine years before he died in the year 2000. We were married for eleven years without a child.
| Hey, that's too bad. Well, it was nice hearing form you... |
He died after a brief illness that lasted for only four days.
| Sounds like poison to me... |
Before his death we were both very devoted Muslims.
| Yep. You got the wrong address... |
Since his death I too have been battling with both cancer and fibroid problems.
| Could it be the punishment of Allah? |
When my late husband was alive he deposited the sum of $30.5 Million (Thirty Million five hundred thousand U.S. Dollars) with an Africa security company that have sister company in asia/europe and america.
| Boy, that was a dumbass thing to do. As soon as you do that, some Nigerian starts trying to move it out of the country... |
Presently, this money is still with the security Company.
Recently, my Doctor told me that I would not last for the next three months due to cancer problem.
| So when you stop sending me daily e-mails I'll know to buy some flowers? |
Though what disturbs me most is my stroke sickness.
| Yeah. That'll do it. Once that vein pops in the head, it's all over... |
Having known my condition I decided to donate this fund to either a moslem organisation or devoted muslim individual that will utilize this money the way I am going to instruct here-in.
| And I'm that devoted Muslim individual, I'll bet... |
I want this muslim organisation or individual to use this money in all sincererity to fund mosques, orphanages,widows and also propagating the word of ALLAH and to ensure that the society upholds the views and beliefs of the holy Quran.
| "I'd like to buy arms and ammunition for all the deserving widows and orphans I can find, and fund a special jihad in my name..." |
The holy Quran emphasized so much on ALLAH'S benevolence and this has encouraged me to take this bold step.
| You mean the bold step of sending Nigerian spam? |
I took this decision because I don't have any child that will inherit this money and my husband relatives are new Christians converts and I don't want my husband's hard earned money to be misused by people I call unbelievers.
| Damn those unbelievers! They'd just piss it away on beer and holy pictures and amulets and stuff... |
I don't want a situation where this money will be used in an unholy manner. Hence the reason for taking this bold decision. I know that after death I will be with ALLAH the most beneficient and the most merciful. I don't need any telephone communication in this regard because of my health and also the presence of my husband's relatives around me always.
| Keeping an eye on you, are they? But they don't mind when you send out thousands of e-mails at a time, eh? |
I don't want them to know about this development. With ALLAH all things are possible.
| "As I sit here, hidden in my closet, composing spam..." |
As soon as I receive your reply I shall give you the direct contact of my attorney here in Nigeria and order him to forward the contact details of the Security Company. I will also ask him to issue you a letter of authority that will prove you as the original- beneficiary of this fund. I want you and the Muslim community where you reside to always pray for me.
| "Please, God! Strike her and all Nigerian spammers dead!" |
My happiness is that I lived a life of a true devoted muslim worthy of emulation. Whoever that wants to serve the ALLAH must serve him in truth and in fairness. Please always be prayerful all through your life. Any delay in your reply will give me room in sourcing for a muslim organisation or a devoted muslim brother or sister for this same purpose.
| So I should act now, before you find a sucker with bigger lips, the better for setting the hook, and less brainpower? |
Until I hear from you, my dreams will rest squarely on your shoulders.
| Hokay. Hold your breath. I'll get right on it. |
May the almighty ALLAH continue to guide and protect you.
| He did that by giving me a 3-digit IQ, unlike the people who actually buy this sort of thing... |
Regards,
Mrs Iyesa Ismiana |