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-Short Attention Span Theater-
Naked Man Not Santa Claus
2003-12-27
I think CNN’s straight-faced version of this story is funnier than the yuk-yuk reports in other venues. Lightly edited for maximum comedy.
MINNEAPOLIS, Minnesota -- A naked man got stuck in the chimney of a bookstore early Christmas morning. The 34-year-old man was treated Thursday for bruises and abrasions at Hennepin County Medical Center after being found naked and lodged in the furnace flue at Uncle Hugo’s Bookstore.
It was a science fiction (and mystery) bookstore.
"He was lucky," said police Lt. Mike Sauro. "He was only stuck in that chimney for a few hours. It’s kind of a happy ending, because if he had been in there until that store opened Friday morning, it’s my judgment he would have died. He doesn’t appear to be a hard-core criminal, just stupid."
That'll look good on his resume...
Police suspect that the man was drunk when he climbed atop the one-story building and removed all his clothes to help squeeze into the chimney. The man told police that he entered the chimney about 1 a.m. Thursday to retrieve keys he accidentally dropped down the shaft.
Nothing spells "loser" like being drunk and naked at one a.m. Christmas morning, and stuck in the chimney of a science fiction bookstore in Minneapolis.
Posted by:Angie Schultz

#2  Uh, you need to take out a copyright on that final summation, Angie; that's precious.
Posted by: Dave D.   2003-12-27 9:43:47 PM  

#1  I dunno, Santa needs to unwind after all that work in 1 day. Are we sure he didn't go on a bender at Mall of America?
Posted by: 4thInfVet   2003-12-27 9:21:16 PM  

00:00