You have commented 339 times on Rantburg.

Your Name
Your e-mail (optional)
Website (optional)
My Original Nic        Pic-a-Nic        Sorry. Comments have been closed on this article.
Bold Italic Underline Strike Bullet Blockquote Small Big Link Squish Foto Photo
Submit your comments on this article
-Short Attention Span Theater-
Moron survives leap into lion’s den
2004-01-13
Lucas Tomas, 22, was said to have held his jacket like a bullfighter’s cape at one of Buenos Aires zoo’s two lions.
Super Hose recommends that all drug dealers be required to label containers of LSD with a warning against use of psychedelic drugs at the zoo.
The lion, Quique, reacted by pouncing on him and repeatedly biting at him. TV footage showed the animal on top of him, visibly biting him at least once.
Are you sure his name wasn’t Jonny Knoxville?
Hospital officials said Mr Tomas was being treated for wounds to arms and face as well as psychological problems.
He obviously hallucinated that he was a famous bull fighter... of lions.
The zoo’s chief veterinarian, Miguel Rivolta, described how Mr Tomas entered the enclosure on Sunday and tried to goad one of the lions. "He jumped into the lion’s pen, and when the lions didn’t react, he took off his jacket and egged them on," said Mr Rivolta. "It was an act of lack of consideration madness as I didn’t have film in my camera." He said the lions initially took no notice of their unexpected visitor - being used to the zookeepers - but the man persisted in teasing them. Zoo officials eventually managed to tranquilise Quique, and Mr Tomas climbed out and was taken to hospital. Fernandez Hospital’s chief medic, Juan Carlos Ramares, said the patient told the authorities he had been ordered by "voices from God" to enter the lion’s den.
And God is now saying, "I took care of this bozo for years, when he started waving his coat like a cape, I just couldn’t take it anymore."
At least he stayed away from the bear exhibit.
That's for next week, after he's healed up...
Posted by:Super Hose

#7  Alcohol? No human has ever been that drunk. Sounds like about 800 micrograms of What Found The Frequency For Kenneth.
Posted by: Shipman   2004-1-13 8:13:47 PM  

#6  Alcohol involved here? That's just a really wild guess.
Posted by: tu3031   2004-1-13 7:15:01 PM  

#5  Hell, I thought it was a really loud Purrrrr.
Posted by: Shipman   2004-1-13 5:16:53 PM  

#4  Can you say "His Haldol wasn't therapeutic today?"

I knew you could say that.
Posted by: Mike   2004-1-13 3:37:24 PM  

#3  ordered by "voices from God" to enter the lion’s den

Oops, sorry. Those voices were meant for Daniel.
Posted by: God   2004-1-13 3:34:29 PM  

#2  "Damn! I, was just THIS close to elgibility for the 2004 Darwin award."
Posted by: Gasse Katze   2004-1-13 2:14:40 PM  

#1  as punishment for this he should become the lions next meal.
Posted by: Jon Shep U.K   2004-1-13 1:33:20 PM  

00:00