PRESIDENT Robert Mugabe, who has been celebrating his 80th birthday, claims he recently found ground glass in his food in what may have been a murder attempt.
(Yeah right, killing someone by putting broken glass in their food only works on television)
Mugabe, Zimbabwe’s leader since the African nation gained independence from Britain in 1980, told the state broadcaster during a special birthday interview a presidential cook had been eaten questioned about the incident. In the past, Mugabe has accused Western leaders of seeking to topple him. But today, he said the incident was probably internal. "I do not think it was anything to do with Western imperialism. Western imperialism is much more thorough than that," he said.
(Ah, you noticed?)
"I think it was just some internal thing. Perhaps the cook was not happy."
| "Now he's even unhappier, though not for much longer." |
Police today refused to comment on the alleged incident. Mugabe did not say whether he was harmed or where the incident happened - whether at his downtown presidential complex, State House and adjoining Zimbabwe House, or at his rural mansion at Kutama, 80kms west of the capital. Last month, Mugabe flew to South Africa amid reports that he needed urgent medical attention for vomiting fits. The reports were vehemently denied by presidential spokesmen.
Mugabe celebrated his 80th birthday as Zimbabwe remained mired in an economic crisis, with inflation near 700 per cent and 5.1 million people facing starvation, according to UN agencies. Ruling Zanu-PF party dignitaries from throughout the country and its youth league attended lavish celebrations in Kutama, birthplace of the former Jesuit-trained mission school teacher. The government-controlled daily, The Herald, published a 12-page supplement of congratulatory messages, many from public corporations teetering on the verge of bankruptcy. One advertisement was taken by the national airline, which recently failed to pay international creditors. Another was from the prisons department, which cannot afford to feed the 28,000 inmates in Zimbabwe’s overcrowded jails. But in his birthday interview, Mugabe rejected suggestions that he might step down before the end of his current six-year presidential term in 2008. "I have not been in the habit of surrendering at all," he said. "In five years, I will be here, still boxing, writing a lot, reading quite a lot, and still in politics. I won’t leave politics but I will have retired, obviously."
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