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That’s not a trash bag -- it’s art!
2004-02-27
by DAVE BARRY
It’s time for an update on the British art world, which, as far as I can tell, exists mainly to provide me with material. As regular readers of this column are aware, British art institutions have taken to paying large sums of money for works of art that can only be described as extremely innovative (I am using ’’innovative’’ in the sense of ’’stupid’’). Here are two examples that I’ve written about:

• An artist named Martin Creed won the prestigious Turner Prize, plus 20,000 pounds (about $30,000), for a work called The Lights Going On and Off, which consisted of a vacant room in which the lights went on and off.

• The prestigious Tate Gallery paid 22,300 pounds (about $35,000) of British taxpayers’ money for a sealed can containing the excrement of a deceased artist.

It’s hard to imagine art getting any more innovative, but I am pleased to report that the British art community is doing its darnedest. According to a London Times story sent in by alert reader Ronald Thurston, the prestigious Paul Hamlyn Foundation has awarded one of the biggest art prizes in Britain -- 30,000 pounds (about $47,000) -- to an artist named Ceal Floyer, for a work of art consisting of: a garbage bag.

Really. The work is titled Rubbish Bag, and to judge from the photograph in the Times, it is a standard black plastic garbage bag, just like the ones you put your garbage in, except of course that you have to pay people to haul your garbage bags away, whereas Ms. Floyer got $47,000 for hers. There is a compelling reason for this: Ms. Floyer’s bag is empty. That’s what makes it artistic. Ms. Floyer is quoted by the Times as follows: ’’It’s not a bag of rubbish, it’s a rubbish bag. The medium is clearly portrayed: It says it is a bag, air, and a twisted top.’’

Got that? It’s NOT a bag of rubbish: It’s a rubbish bag! If THAT’S not $47,000 worth of innovation, then I don’t know what is.
Posted by:mojo

#13  Lol! You guys aren't supposed to be laughing at me and whacking me - you're supposed to put YOUR speculations out there for ridicule! Lazy [mumble mumble]...
;-)
Posted by: .com   2004-2-27 8:35:58 PM  

#12  Ooops. I guess I missed that lampoon somehow.
Posted by: AllahHateMe   2004-2-27 8:21:03 PM  

#11  OK, guys, I will fess up to this one: I was signing posts DoggyDoo4U. Just notice that I had good diction and syntax, unlike others.....
Posted by: Alaska Paul   2004-2-27 8:16:44 PM  

#10  taint moi!!! LOL I have an aversion to spelling errors without applying the agave excuse
Posted by: Frank G   2004-2-27 7:57:23 PM  

#9  Mucky. I thought you were one of the exhibits...
Posted by: tu3031   2004-2-27 7:37:34 PM  

#8  You're right .com... it's got to be Lucky... the cadence, the cadence, the cadence.
Posted by: Shipman   2004-2-27 7:35:47 PM  

#7  B / Korora - I'll bite:

Nym / % probability / reasoning

Shipman - 50% - he's been sharpening his snarkmaster skills a LOT lately (Going for Board Cert r u?); this looks like a logical extension!

Lucky - 40% - anyone who posts to himself (aka cheating at solitaire) is capable of anything!

FrankG - 10% - has the talent (!!!), but I think engineers are congenitally incapable of that many syntax errors!
Posted by: .com   2004-2-27 6:55:28 PM  

#6  Daniel, I'm ashamed of you!

Telling Muck to go play with a plastic bag? Don't you realize the chances of a tragic accident?
Posted by: Darth VAda   2004-2-27 4:22:19 PM  

#5  good catch Konora - so shall we start a futures on who'se been playing mucky?
Posted by: B   2004-2-27 3:58:53 PM  

#4  AllahHateMe, the names muck4d00, 8lame 8ush, Th!nkHesFunny, halfempty, halffull, M3sn00ty, Immune2Irony, N3w Guy, AFewM4rblesL3ft, and 4sylum 3scapee are all names from this lampoon of D'micratic Underground.
Posted by: Korora   2004-2-27 3:53:23 PM  

#3  Daniel, judging from his previous "debates" and "arguments" I think you are over-estimating muck4doo's mental capabilities.
Posted by: AllahHateMe   2004-2-27 3:27:06 PM  

#2  Don't fret Muck4doo. If you think really hard you may even be able to duplicate the "rubbish bag" work of art at home.

Posted by: Daniel King   2004-2-27 2:50:14 PM  

#1  this is a disapointing news. it dont even say were you can go see the exhibits.
Posted by: muck4doo   2004-2-27 2:27:14 PM  

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