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| -Short Attention Span Theater- |
| Oral sex is alibi in fatal crash |
| 2004-03-05 |
| We never saw this on "Columbo"... MIDDLETOWN, Conn. â A woman charged with causing a fatal car crash said she could not have been behind the wheel because she was performing a sex act on the driver. Okay! Not guilty! Need a ride home, hon? Heather Specyalski, 33, was charged with second-degree manslaughter in the 1999 crash that killed businessman Neil Esposito. Prosecutors allege that she was driving Espositoâs Mercedes-Benz convertible when it veered off the road and hit several trees. Neat trick. Was she using a periscope? Specyalski said that Esposito was driving and that she was performing oral sex on him, said her attorney, Jeremiah Donovan. He noted that Espositoâs pants were down when he was thrown from the car. Iâll bet Ted Kennedyâs kicking himself in the ass that he didnât think of this one about thirty years ago. "I was...ahhhhhmmmm...getting a beanah! Therefore, I am...ahhhhmmmmm... innocent! Superior Court Judge Robert L. Holzberg ruled Tuesday that Specyalski could proceed with the defense, despite objections by the prosecutor. Looks like Judge Holzberg wants to be on Court TV. âA defendant has a right to offer a defense, no matter how outlandish, silly or unbelievable one might think it will be,â Holzberg said. Will there be graphs? Charts? Exhibits? He added: âNo one ever told me in law school that weâd be having these kinds of conversations in open court.â He mustâve been in law school a long, long time ago. Assistant Stateâs Attorney Maureen Platt said the defense was flawed.âHis pants could have been down because he was mooning a car he was drag racing,â Platt said. âHis pants could have been down because he was urinating out of a window. His pants could have been down because he wasnât feeling well.â Counselor Platt doesnât date much evidently. Also Tuesday, Holzberg denied Donovanâs motion to use gender as grounds to eliminate jurors. Donovan had argued that women would be biased and more likely to convict. I hope we get to hear the closing arguments. They could be very interesting. |
| Posted by:tu3031 |
| #14 What did the autopsy show? Was Esposito dismembered? |
| Posted by: Vigilante 2004-3-11 4:51:16 PM |
| #13 Popeye sez: Well, Blow me down! Heheheheheheheheheheh. |
| Posted by: Alaska Paul 2004-3-5 9:56:04 PM |
| #12 LOL! Reality imitating The World According to Garp. tu3031 - Rockin' post and awesome in-line comments! Fred - Instant Classic! |
| Posted by: .com 2004-3-5 9:25:51 PM |
| #11 I can't wait for the crime scene recreation. Maybe on America's Most Wanted or even BJ and the Bear. |
| Posted by: ed 2004-3-5 9:07:31 PM |
| #10 ROTFLMAO. Okay! Not guilty! Need a ride home, hon? TU, you be bad, bro. Great thread. |
| Posted by: GK 2004-3-5 7:05:57 PM |
| #9 But at least the driver died "happy" |
| Posted by: Cheddarhead 2004-3-5 6:41:19 PM |
| #8 Sorry BH... my mind had a premature ejaculation... |
| Posted by: Capsu78 2004-3-5 6:21:13 PM |
| #7 Sounds like she didn't know if the driver was coming or going... |
| Posted by: Capsu78 2004-3-5 6:20:17 PM |
| #6 Boy, you just said a mouthful! |
| Posted by: Fred 2004-3-5 5:57:32 PM |
| #5 The jury may not swallow this, but let me tell you: it is hard to drive like this. You don't know if you're coming or going. |
| Posted by: BH 2004-3-5 5:48:35 PM |
| #4 As to the verdict...I think she'll go down on it. |
| Posted by: Sgt.DT 2004-3-5 5:20:16 PM |
| #3 Isn't that the state SOUTH of Massachusetts? Get it? |
| Posted by: Cyber Sarge (VRWC CA Chapter) 2004-3-5 5:18:05 PM |
| #2 I am amazed at all the news from my home state this week! |
| Posted by: Sgt.DT 2004-3-5 5:17:56 PM |
| #1 I'm rethinking Conneticut. |
| Posted by: Shipman 2004-3-5 4:53:18 PM |