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| Majority of Americans out of touch with mainstream |
| 2004-07-22 |
| The Onion. NEW YORK—According to a study published by the Popular Culture Research Group Monday, the majority of American citizens are out of touch with mainstream American society. "We're not sure, at this point, whether this is a new trend or a continuation of an old trend," PCRG consultant Paul Van Lamm said. "All we know right now is that 70 to 85 percent of Americans are unfamiliar with, unaware of, or just plain don't care about what the American people are watching on television, seeing at the movie theater, listening to on their radios, wearing, rooting for, falling in love with all over again, or downloading." According to Van Lamm, 71 percent of U.S. citizens polled had no interest in NASCAR racing, America's fastest-growing sport. Van Lamm added that 69 percent of poll respondents said they did not have a single Hispanic friend, in spite of the fact that Hispanics are the nation's fastest-growing minority group. Additionally, the majority of poll respondents did not see the final episode of Friends, television's most-watched sitcom. "It's disturbing," Van Lamm said. "I'm uncomfortable with the number of U.S. citizens who have no interest in what interests the greater part of their fellow citizens." Additional data collected by prominent forecasters, pollsters, and trend-watchers indicates that an overwhelming number of Americans have not seen this week's box-office smashes; do not own a Munsingwear penguin-logo golf shirt, the country's hottest fashion item; and not only do not own the must-have Apple iPod, but have never even participated in the runaway fad of downloading the nation's top albums, many of which they've never heard. Interviews with average Americans seem to support such findings. "Kanye West? He's in one of those shows. Or was in. It's off the air now, is that it?" said Pewaukee, WI resident and HVAC technician Carl Danford. "Huh... DaVinci Code, you say. I know: Is it a movie? What's Nordic Walking? I mean 'who.' Who is Nordic Walking?" "I know The White Stripes is a band that younger people like," Danford added. When asked to name the latest and most buzzworthy figures in entertainment, Tempe, AZ daycare provider Tina Jefferson said, "A lot of the children here saw the Harry Potter movie. And Yao Ming plays sports. How is that?" "Oh, wait!" Jefferson added. "I know that Anna Nicole Smith lost a lot of weight and people are talking about it. Well, not me or people I know, but other people." Carson Mannheim, lead statistician and founder of Mannheim Media Research, said he is trying to make sense of the confusing data. "We're unsure exactly what these figures may mean, but the implications must be far-reaching," Mannheim said. "We're used to Americans not knowing the capital of the next state over, or who their congressman is, or how a bill becomes a law. But the idea that most residents of this country don't know anything about 'Fit But You Know It,' Usher, Dragonball Z, or the WWE is terrifying. No one seems to care that these are the things that influence the everyday life of most Americans." |
| Posted by:Korora |
| #15 This all reminds me very little of a corollary the famous Iceberg Theorem: The Iceberg Theorem: Over 90% of a given issue is not in direct sight. The Generalized Iceberg Theorem: Over 90% of everything is shit. I am beginning to agree rather strongly with both of these concepts. |
| Posted by: Zenster 2004-07-23 12:06:14 AM |
| #14 Personally I think the Onion hasn't been worth the paper its printed on since it left Madison for New York. I mean when it was in Madison you "knew" it was an ernest piece of leftist crap instead of just maybe being a smug tongue in cheek New York piece of crap. |
| Posted by: cheaderhead 2004-07-22 11:01:17 PM |
| #13 This is funny but there is a grain of truth in that most people around here don't care about the things that most "chic" people do. |
| Posted by: Deacon Blues 2004-07-22 8:34:49 PM |
| #12 Two more mainstream Donks... |
| Posted by: .com 2004-07-22 6:47:34 PM |
| #11 Majority of Americans out of touch with mainstream This statement dosen't mke a bit of sense. Wouldn't the majority be trhe main stream/ |
| Posted by: raptor 2004-07-22 5:52:33 PM |
| #10 Need to drag in cheap print aloha man about now. |
| Posted by: Shipman 2004-07-22 3:23:58 PM |
| #9 don't wear penguin-logo golf shirts Is your life still complete? I doubt it. |
| Posted by: Shipman 2004-07-22 3:23:16 PM |
| #8 Ah, the Onion. Famous for the headline "World Ends! Women and children hardest hit." |
| Posted by: mojo 2004-07-22 2:53:00 PM |
| #7 There was an insipid article in the Chicago Tribune (barf, but blame the wife, not me) a few weeks ago entitled: Why is America So Fascinated by Young Blonde Celebrities Who Have Nothing to Say? It had photos of Britney, Christina, Kate/Mary-Wazzherface, etc. But just like the entire Princess Diana thing, most Americans aren't interested in them. Some yo-yo journalism major (who didn't have the IQ to do the heavy lifting required for a French major) sits at a news desk and decides for himself that Britney is interesting. And they wonder why they have to fake their circulation numbers. |
| Posted by: dreadnought 2004-07-22 2:33:54 PM |
| #6 Steve, I'm w/you on all counts. I do watch NASCAR though. |
| Posted by: Jarhead 2004-07-22 2:22:06 PM |
| #5 I think that this is pointing out is that what the alledged 'experts' claim as being 'mainstream' (such as watching 'Friends' reading 'DaVinci Code' etc...) are not the mainstream america is all about. In truth there is no 'mainstream' America -- it is kind of like finding the 'average american' (he/she/it doesn't exist). These 'experts' are kind of like those Greenpeace 'pollsters' around here in Seattle -- I have yet to see them ever 'poll' someone in a business suit (and not everyone around here goes around in tie-dye and sandles). Actually I had the same reaction as Pete until I checked for a scrappleface/onion byline.... |
| Posted by: CrazyFool 2004-07-22 2:00:32 PM |
| #4 Ok, it's the Onion, but like all good humor, it has a lot of truth in it. I didn't watch the final episode of "Friends", don't have a iPod, don't download music, don't wear penguin-logo golf shirts, don't go to half of the "Hollywood smashes", haven't read the DaVinci Code, or listen to Usher. I know they are happening as backround noise, but don't care to find out more. The reason is personel choice, not because of ignorance. We have such a vast array of choices to pick from these days that the idea you'd be able to know everything (or want to) is a joke. I think that's what the Onion was trying for. They did a great job, if it wasn't tagged as a piece from the Onion, how would you know? |
| Posted by: Steve 2004-07-22 1:14:06 PM |
| #3 Halfass seems to only half read the content. Although he does like a good full cursefest every now-and-then. |
| Posted by: Dragon Fly 2004-07-22 12:35:31 PM |
| #2 Pete.... Pete.... This is The Onion :) Satire... humor... Other headlines: 73 Percent Of U.S. Livestock Show Signs Of Clinical Depression Bill Gates' Wife Worried He's Lying In A Ditch Full Of Money Somewhere |
| Posted by: CrazyFool 2004-07-22 12:33:23 PM |
| #1 In one breath they say, "MOST Americans are out of touch". In the next breath they say, "No one seems to care that these are the things that influence the everyday life of MOST Americans." Hmm......no wonder they're confused.....they don't know what MOST means. I reckon they're still trying to find out what the meaning of the word "IS" is. |
| Posted by: Halfass Pete 2004-07-22 12:27:36 PM |
