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Central Asia

Turkmenbashi waxes lyrical

2004-07-26

The leader of Turkmenistan has shown another side to his talents - by revealing himself as a poet.

"... and don't know it.
He's got big feet.
They're Longfellows."

President Saparmurat Niyavoz used a recent public holiday to regale the nation with a work of his own - The New Turkmen Spirit. Mr Niyazov, whose initiatives include renaming months of the year after himself, left no doubt about the spirit's identity: him.

"L'etat, c'est moi, and not youse!"

The poem expresses his devotion to the nation, but warns against dissent. "I am the Turkmen spirit, reborn to bring you a golden age," the poem begins. It goes on to echo a favourite theme of Mr Niyazov, who likes to be known as Turkmenbashi, or leader of the Turkmen - that he protects and sacrifices himself for his people. "I do not spare myself for you, for I am devoted to you all," he promises, adding, "I am your saviour."

"Widdout me, yer nuttin'! Nuttin', I tells yez!"

The president has shown his devotion to the smallest detail of his people's lives. Mr Niyazov banned smoking in public places after he was ordered to give up the habit following heart surgery in 1997. Earlier this year, he passed a decree forbidding young men to wear long hair or beards, and ordered a young woman to have her gold teeth replaced with white ones. The promise to be his people's saviour applies only to those who "are still faithful to me".

Why save somebody who doesn't like you?

"While cherishing my allies, I am desperate to fight my enemies," Mr Niyazov declares. This may be no idle boast. Following an alleged assassination attempt in November 2002, Mr Niyazov launched a crackdown in which more than 40 opposition activists, including a former foreign minister, were jailed. "My sight is sharp - I see everything," warns the leader, who earlier this year ordered the government to intensify video surveillance to "let us know if a fly quietly buzzes past". Or, in the words of the poem: "If you are honest in your deeds, I see this; if you commit wrongdoing, I see that too."

Posted by:Fred

#9 This was dedicated to Saddam during OIF:)

(To the tune of Arabian Nights from Disney's Aladdin :

Oh I come from a land
A far away place
Where A-10s in kill boxes roam
Where we gas moms and babes then we kick in their face
It's barbaric, but hey, it's home!

With JDAMs from the east
And SLCMs from the west
And Stealth bombers, oh what a sight
Come on down, stop on by
Take cover or die -
On another Iraqian Night!

Iraqian Niiiiiights
Like Iraqian Days
More likely than not
You'll probably get shot
Cause terror don't pay

Iraqian Niiiiiights
Like Iraqian Moons
I've got to run hard
Cause I can't trust my Guard
When they hear those kabooms....

Mike

Posted by: Mike Kozlowski 2004-07-26 11:53:15 AM

#8 Yes, but can he golf? Or is that next weeks headline on "Dateline: Turkmenistan"?

Posted by: tu3031 2004-07-26 10:59:43 AM

#7 "Take a long lazy swim in Lake Me
Turkmenbashi as far as you see
My calendar's custom
My statues? Adjust 'em
And my hair is less poofy than Kimmie"

Posted by: Seafarious 2004-07-26 10:55:57 AM

#6 "I call this poem 'Ode to Myself.'"

Posted by: Mike 2004-07-26 10:39:23 AM

#5 Gee, maybe Turkmenbashi and Saddam could get together for a poetry slam next time it's "Open Mic Night" down at Abu Sayf's Teahouse 'n' Terror Shoppe.

Posted by: Seafarious 2004-07-26 10:32:45 AM

#4 Roses are red
violets are purple
sugar are sweet,
please hand me the mustache wax

Posted by: Shipman 2004-07-26 9:56:28 AM

#3 All Hail Me!
I'm Niyazov!
If you don't like me
Your head goes off.

Put this in the Classix!

Posted by: Korora 2004-07-26 9:55:12 AM

#2 Every breath you take
Every move you make
Every bond you break
Every step you take

I'll be watching you

Posted by: Steve 2004-07-26 9:01:38 AM

#1 I love the Turkmenbashi. He's so freakin' entertaining. If you're going to be a tinpot dictator, do it right.

Halk Watan Turkmenbashi!

Posted by: Gromky 2004-07-26 3:30:46 AM

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