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Great White North
Canadian Customs Officials Want To See the Bare Facts
2004-07-27
Baring all for Canada
FOREIGN STRIPPERS MUST SUPPLY NUDE STAGE PHOTOS TO OFFICIALS
By TOM GODFREY, TORONTO SUN
IMMIGRATION OFFICERS are having to pore through naked pictures of hundreds of exotic dancers to keep impostors out of Canada. Foreign strippers planning to table dance in clubs here must now provide photos of themselves with no clothes on to qualify for a visa for Canada, immigration officials say.
Ok, so where do you apply for a job as a Titty Inspector?
"Stage photos during performances are required," said Sergio Mercado, of the Canadian Embassy in Mexico.
DVDs optional, but preferred.
MEMO TO VISA OFFICERS In a memo to fellow visa officers around the world, Mercado said if a dancer passes the no-clothes test, they may then require a police certificate or medical examination.
Or a performance at the next Immigration staff meeting.
The memo was obtained from access to information documents obtained by the Sun. The potential dancers have to prove they can dance in the nude, immigration lawyer Mendel Green said yesterday. "They can't be partially nude," he said. "If they don't have pictures in the nude, they are not going to wiggle their bottoms in Canada."
If you don't have a valid passport, no problem. Come from a terrorist supporting country, no problem. No nude photos, now we have a problem!
Immigration lawyer Richard Kurland said the women have to show nude pictures to ensure they're not abusing the system.
There's something deeply wrong with that sentence.
When it comes to Russia, the visa officers are looking for "headline performers" who can be paid up to $5,000 weekly and are often featured in ads of which they are expected to have copies.
Looking for girls with "really big headlines".
PHOTO SPREADS Officers at the Canadian Embassy in Moscow said most headliners have been subject of photo spreads after vying for "Miss Nude North America or Miss Nude Europe" contests.
I guess "Miss Nude Saudi Arabia" didn't make the cut.... oops, poor choice of words.
Immigration officer Dorothy Christie said once dancers arrive here they are usually placed in strip club lodgings and paid $60 every time they're on stage, $10 for a lapdance and $20 for a VIP room lapdance.
Then there are the optional performances....
Each week the women must pay $100 to an pimp agent and $50 for a off-duty vice cop driver as well as $10 nightly to a pimp DJ, the officer said.
We now know why the war on terror is such an enigma to Canada.
Posted by:BigEd

#19  "Re-read your comments one day and tell me how I'm supposed to react to them."

Um, as an individual? You expect everyone else to take your critical points, such as the "take the log out of your own eye first, will ya?", and many of us DO. I do, for example. I will vote for those who don't have their heads up their asses regards immigration policy and law - on BOTH borders. Does that mean I can't criticize Kanada? No, of course, not. Does that mean you shouldn't take it personally? Yes. I have never said what you're implying: "My country right or wrong." I accept criticism of the US where it's accurate. I also point out problems elsewhere, just like you. What's unique about this? Nothing. It is you that can't take it. You are the guy who got his panties in a bunch over criticism of his Govt.

Okay, we're quits. No sweat and no problem.
Posted by: .com   2004-07-27 11:21:25 PM  

#18  No, you just pulled a Maple Leaf outta your ass and got pissed becuz you're a loyal Kanadian.

Re-read your comments one day and tell me how I'm supposed to react to them. I'm just firing the same shit back at you and you're getting all huffy about it.

There is only ONE thing you have ever said about Canadian immigration that is true: back in Saudi Arabia every Ahmed and his cousin had a Canadian passport if they wanted one. But that's all. No where have you made an effort to actually understand the process that actually gives them that passport. And this is from several years ago. Since 9-11 the whole process has changed significantly. Your point might not even be valid anymore.

If you want, "Fuck You" it is

If I want??? You don't read the stuff you post, do you.
Posted by: Rafael   2004-07-27 11:12:01 PM  

#17  No sweat, Rafael. It doesn't matter that I disagree with you, it's only a problem when someone disagrees with me? Lol! Geez, can you get off the merry-go-round for a minute and think about what you said in this thread - first?

I don't (and NEVER HAVE) blame you personally for Kanada's Govts or Laws or Policies, now do I? No, you just pulled a Maple Leaf outta your ass and got pissed becuz you're a loyal Kanadian. Fine.

You made the whole thing personal. You picked the fight. The same, every word, can be said regards your Kanuckiness. Regards Immigration Law - I'm sure trying - and I assumed you were doing your civic duties, as well, in hopes of making the Govt work for us instead of against us. But the facts are there for anyone to see, and nothing I have said about Kanada is untrue. It wasn't personal until you made it so.

So there it is, IMO. If you want, "Fuck You" it is.
Posted by: .com   2004-07-27 10:50:28 PM  

#16  You're a nice guy .com up until someone disagrees with your POV. Then it's FOAD.

The fact is you are a whiner when it comes to this issue. "Friendship fence". Remember that? I agreed with you on certain aspects and you still managed to slip a knife in my back, albeit with a smile and a handshake. Fuck you.

I'm not whining, I'm repudiating the nonsense that people post, should the need arise. You simply can't take it. Oh, but you can certainly dish it out.

One final comment to you regarding Canadian immigration policy...take the log out of your own eye first, will ya?
Posted by: Rafael   2004-07-27 10:39:33 PM  

#15  Blame Canada... ROFLMAO
Posted by: ladyhawk   2004-07-27 10:34:56 PM  

#14  Thinking about it, the inevitable decline began when Trudeau's wife posed nude for Playboy. Just took a few years for those inspectors to work this into the guidelines.
Posted by: RWV   2004-07-27 10:31:31 PM  

#13  Maybe Canada should require incoming terrorist to demonstrate their skills before entering Canada en route to the US border. Perhaps bomb making demonstratioins, kidnap videos (beheadings optional), marksmanship demos, valid pilot's licenses, etc. What happened? Canada used to be a fine upstanding country. Did Trudeau start the death spiral or did it come later?
Posted by: RWV   2004-07-27 10:29:32 PM  

#12  Lol! Well, I guess I've been waaay to nice to you. Okay, I'll stop.

Fuck you, Rafael.

Regards whining, talk about Pot -- Kettle! Lol! What a load.

FOAD / HAND, Kanuck.
Posted by: .com   2004-07-27 10:27:04 PM  

#11  Sure you do. Every time. How many terrorists have you counted crossing into the US this week, hm?
Posted by: Rafael   2004-07-27 9:51:04 PM  

#10  Rafael - Lol! I don't whine, sonny. And this story IS too easy to have fun with, heh. Are you ordering the CD?
Posted by: .com   2004-07-27 9:32:52 PM  

#9  .com, with all your whining about Canadian immigration policy, I'd thought this one would get an enthusiastic thumbs up from you, for once.
Posted by: Rafael   2004-07-27 9:24:15 PM  

#8  I don't know, Ship. Mucky's an all-right guy. Visit his blog sometime. As to what kind of country has to import strippers, one with mostly hairy-legged moose-women ?
Posted by: Deacon Blues   2004-07-27 8:16:50 PM  

#7  Lousy protectionism.
Posted by: Robert Crawford   2004-07-27 8:07:27 PM  

#6  Lol! This one's too easy, I'll pass, heh.
Posted by: .com   2004-07-27 7:49:50 PM  

#5  What the hell kind of country has to import strippers? One full of skanky hairy-pitted Kumbaya whiners and LLL burqa-dhimmi wannabes.
Posted by: Anonymous5916   2004-07-27 7:43:23 PM  

#4  I think the US should follow Canada's lead and I volunteer to become the first Nude Photo Inspector of the US. I will work tirelessly night/day/weekends whatever it takes to review the thousands of pics of wannabe strippers. O Canada you really have sunk haven't you.
Posted by: Cyber Sarge (VRWC CA Chapter)   2004-07-27 6:24:41 PM  

#3  I expect M4D to appear by as if by magic....
weird dude, but likes guns and women, can't be all bad.
Posted by: Shipman   2004-07-27 5:08:34 PM  

#2  If you don't have a valid passport, no problem. Come from a terrorist supporting country, no problem.

Hasn't been a problem for the US either. Especially with the "over-staying" your visa part.
Posted by: Rafael   2004-07-27 4:18:13 PM  

#1  Oh, Canada!

The transition from irrelevance to self-parody is now complete.
Posted by: dreadnought   2004-07-27 4:10:49 PM  

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