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| Martyrs, Virgins and Grapes |
| 2004-08-04 |
| The virgins are calling you," Mohamed Atta wrote reassuringly to his fellow hijackers just before 9/11. It has long been a staple of Islam that Muslim martyrs will go to paradise and marry 72 black-eyed virgins. But a growing body of rigorous scholarship on the Koran points to a less sensual paradise - and, more important, may offer a step away from fundamentalism and toward a reawakening of the Islamic world. Some Islamic theologians protest that the point was companionship, never heavenly sex. Others have interpreted the pleasures quite explicitly; one, al-Suyuti, wrote that sex in paradise is pretty much continual and so glorious that "were you to experience it in this world you would faint." But now the same tools that historians, linguists and archaeologists have applied to the Bible for about 150 years are beginning to be applied to the Koran. The results are explosive. The Koran is beautifully written, but often obscure. One reason is that the Arabic language was born as a written language with the Koran, and there's growing evidence that many of the words were Syriac or Aramaic. For example, the Koran says martyrs going to heaven will get "hur," and the word was taken by early commentators to mean "virgins," hence those 72 consorts. But in Aramaic, hur meant "white" and was commonly used to mean "white grapes." |
| Posted by:tipper |
| #8 Bad premise in the article: if the Islamist terrorist suicidal asshats go anywhere it'll be straight to Hell. |
| Posted by: AzCat 2004-08-04 11:16:54 PM |
| #7 Speaking of grapes as in rasins ..look at Yassir's face! |
| Posted by: Mark Espinola 2004-08-04 9:48:52 PM |
| #6 I blew up a bus and all I got was 72 raisins and this lousy t-shirt! |
| Posted by: Dar 2004-08-04 9:33:15 PM |
| #5 There's an off-chance that I ran across this and confused the two; it's been a while. |
| Posted by: The Doctor 2004-08-04 8:34:39 PM |
| #4 I remember seeing this posted on the site before, but when I searched I couldn't find it. Glad to see it again; means I wasn't just having a dream where I was searching Rantburg and came across this article (I love this place, but I've better things to do in my dreams!). Funniest thing I've seen in a long time, in a tragically ironic sort of way. Serves the bastards right that all they get is drunk. Although, on the other hand, is it established by Muslim "scholars" that those virgins are young, sexy women, or is it assumed? I might be more in favor of the "virgins" interpretation if it involved guys and old hags being given to these jihadis. The possibilities would literally make it hell . . . |
| Posted by: The Doctor 2004-08-04 8:29:51 PM |
| #3 Grapes! You're giving me grapes!? I blew myself to shit, for friggin' GRAPES!!! Allahu Akabar, MY ASS!!! |
| Posted by: Abdullah Muhammad Jihadi Jihadi 2004-08-04 8:15:29 PM |
| #2 As a former vintner, there may be a little more to this... I have also seen reference to the finest wines being available in the Islamic paradise. Given some of the European influence in various parts of their world, and with the translation meaning white grapes or raisins, what comes to mind as the finest of wines made from "white raisined grapes" is the German TBA (TrokenBeerenAuslese). These are only produced in certain years when conditions are right, from botrytised ("Noble Rot", kind of a raisined effect) grapes that concentrates the sugars and acids. A TBA is made using individual grapes, and back in the day they may have determined that 72 grapes would make a glass of wine. It is to die for - but only as a figure of speech, not quite literally, and not quite in the same ballpark as 72 virgins for eternity. soooo.... can we end this Islamic nonsense? I'll send a few cases of TBA and they can get drunk off their asses and feel paradise right here and now. And go to work tomorrow with a headache like the rest of us. |
| Posted by: former winemaker 2004-08-04 7:55:25 PM |
| #1 "...and that future terrorist recruits will be promised not 72 black-eyed virgins, but just a plateful of grapes." I guess it will come as some shock when they suddenly appear in hell with a bunch of raisins. |
| Posted by: jojo the idiot circus boy 2004-08-04 4:08:35 PM |