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China-Japan-Koreas
Norks Develop "Food Of The Gods"
2004-08-05
Pyongyang, August 4 (KCNA) -- The Faculty of Life Science of Kim Il Sung University has developed a new kind of growth accelerant for animals. The newly developed accelerant is considered to be better than other kinds. It is made of raw materials abundant in the country and its production processes are comparatively simple, so its production cost is very low.
A tasty mix of sand, gravel and air...
Its acceleration rate is 10-15 percent higher than other kinds. It accelerates the growth of animals with a less amount of feed and helps raise their resistance to cold. It can be easily applied to all livestock. All the elements of the accelerant, with no poisonous effect, are completely dissolved and absorbed in animal body. It has already been applied to chicken, duck and other stock farms.
Only known side effects are a tendency for the animals to eat the farm hands.
Posted by:Steve

#16  How do they define grow? I've heard that proper use of the rack can cause a person to grow several inches per application.
Posted by: Brutus   2004-08-05 9:28:18 PM  

#15  Dan, that's probably what happened . . .

Anonymoose, that's when we'll be in real trouble, since they can invade and we'll be too busy laughing at them to defend ourselves. Maybe Kimmie's gonna mix those steroids in with their orange juche?
Posted by: The Doctor   2004-08-05 6:39:28 PM  

#14  About the only thing I could think of that would radically increase the bulk of animals are steroids and other hormones.
Great. In five years the Nork army will look like those "girls" you might meet in a dive bar in Thailand.
Posted by: Anonymoose   2004-08-05 5:51:28 PM  

#13  in a scientifically controlled experiment, animals fed this substance grew larger, faster than an equivalent group of animals, which were fed nothing.

After three weeks, the experiment was ended due to the smell and maggots produced by the control group.
Posted by: PlanetDan   2004-08-05 5:51:15 PM  

#12  Ah, the mighty scientists of North Korea. Is there anything they can't invent?
Posted by: The Doctor   2004-08-05 5:49:32 PM  

#11  What they fail to mention is that only Kim is considered a "God" and therefore will be the only one eating anything in the ensuing months.

The North Koreans make the Chinese and Soviets look like complete amateurs at bullsh!t propaganda.
Posted by: Zenster   2004-08-05 4:55:46 PM  

#10  kim is invent hamburger to.
Posted by: muck4doo   2004-08-05 4:21:48 PM  

#9  does taunting them at there website work? surly large scale oranized jeering at them from the west will stir them up, hey like playing with a wasp nest.
Posted by: Shep UK   2004-08-05 4:00:34 PM  

#8  this is fantastic, on a par with the time a year or so ago when they said they'd created anti aging water - and wan't it just deionized water? i'm in stitches with laughter and my skull hurts where i'm laughing so much. excellent.
Posted by: Shep UK   2004-08-05 3:58:24 PM  

#7  They better get craking on feeding what is left of their farm animals. The NORKS are 1 million tons short of grub for their population this year.
Posted by: Alaska Paul   2004-08-05 3:44:42 PM  

#6  lol fred!
Posted by: muck4doo   2004-08-05 3:41:36 PM  

#5  Why don't they work on that new fangled growth accelerant for people? I think it's called "food".
Posted by: tu3031   2004-08-05 3:25:56 PM  

#4  Norks Develop "Food Of The Gods"

Ya mean BBQ? Hell, I've been applying that to chicken for years.
Posted by: BH   2004-08-05 1:40:11 PM  

#3  Soylent Green is tree bark! It's tree bark I tells ya!
Posted by: Scooter McGruder   2004-08-05 1:31:59 PM  

#2  Oh, no! One of those "accelerated" farm animals is headed for Tokyo!

He's knocking over the power lines! Aiiiggh!
Posted by: dreadnought   2004-08-05 1:24:02 PM  

#1  Trying for a remake of Jurassic Park, Kimmie?
Posted by: Raj   2004-08-05 1:18:11 PM  

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