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| Recording Industry Urged to Re-Think "Hams Across Arabia" Fundraiser |
| 2004-09-01 |
| Recording Industry Urged to Re-Think "Hams Across Arabia" Fundraiser HOLLYWOOD — Government officials have sent strong recommendation to the Recording Industry Association of America to reconsider its members' scheduled release of the star-studded benefit single, "Hams Across Arabia". The tune, composed through the headline-grabbing collaboration of master songwriters Bernie Taupin, Elvis Costello, and Paul Simon, features nearly fifty popular recording artists who convened at Capital Records, Hollywood to contribute their talents. "We are appealing to the RIAA to step back for a moment and consider the message they are sending with this song," said Paul Bremer, Presidential Envoy to Iraq. "Although their intentions are good, this may be counter-productive in the long run." The song, which clocks in at 4:35, describes the plight of impoverished Iraqis, Afghans, and Palestinians, and features the refrain: America, we stand! Remember forgotten lands! Feed them with hearts so grand! Send 'em a Christmas ham! "We call upon prospering America to turn their eyes upon the starving, oppressed children of the desert," begins a press release from Simon, "and then look at all the hogs we have in places like Iowa and Nebraska, and then realize that this would be the perfect gift to our hungry friends in the Middle East
" The song proclaims: When you're sitting 'round your table Remember this lasting fable No money you can cable Will shake your "rich bas****" label! So bring them ham! Let's take the easy stand! It matters not which brand! Send 'em a Christmas ham! Together across that land (Christmas ham!) Feeding their dreams so grand (Christmas ham!) Helping those in a jam! (Christmas ham!) Aaaaaahhhhh Christmas Ham! The title, scheduled for a December 1 release, has drawn praise from presidential candidate Howard Dean ("just what those Iraqis need at a time like this"), as well as media gadfly Al Franken ("a win for democracy!") and national treasure Gore Vidal ("Bush couldn't dream of writing such a beautiful song") Others, however, are less sanguine — almost downright pessimistic -- about Arab response to "Hams Across Arabia". "Did anyone consider that these people might want their ham cooked?" asks Sen. Edward Kennedy (D-MA). "I mean, come on. What kind of 
Islamist 
eats raw ham? Not this one, I guarantee!" "These people can't afford a compact disc," criticized Theresa Blaine of The Village Voice. "How unfair." Performer Moby, who lent his immense talent to the effort, calls such comments "lame," and "clearly intended to exonerate the millions of Americans who let perfectly good and nutritious ham go to waste." Celebrity outreach has historically resulted in both rousing success (Live Aid, Farm Aid) and stunning failure (NAMBLApalooza, Save the Lawyers). But international coordinator Bono is not worried. "We have a duty to remember the lost, the poor, the dismembered," said the U2 frontman. "There is no excuse for celebrating holidays when we have a war to stall." "This may not fly," said former White House Press Secretary Ari Fleisher. "The President likes a good 'benefit' tune like any red-blooded American, but if I'm not mistaken, these are mostly registered democrats on the recording. What about (Ted) Nugent or the guy from Sugar Ray?" |
| Posted by:Atomic Conspiracy |
| #1 I grow nostalgik (but I've got herbicides) remembering unforgettable PANS ACROSS AMERICA back in what.... ummmmm 1988? PANS ACROSS AMERICA so everybody will have a pot to piss in. |
| Posted by: Shipman 2004-09-01 6:44:23 PM |