(2004-11-03) -- Sen. John Forbes Kerry, who was also a presidential candidate until recently, today finally explained "the plan" to which he often referred during his White House bid.

"You probably thought my plan involved sitting in the Oval Office," said Mr. Kerry, "But everything I have done this year was simply to lay the groundwork for my triumphal ascension to the post of Senate Minority Leader. Now that my coattails have carried Tom Daschle to defeat, I stand ready to lead the remainder of the senate Democrats with my progressive ideas."

A straw poll of Democrat senators shows that Mr. Kerry stands a good chance of garnering the position, since the party is looking for "fresh new faces."

"I've never met him personally," said one veteran U.S. Senator, "but it sounds like he has the personality to pick up where Sen. Daschle left off."