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| Home Front: Politix | |
| Moobat Sues Republican Party For Helping Bush Get Elected | |
| 2004-11-24 | |
| EFL. Hat tip: Cracker Barrel Philosopher. Though it reads like a parody, I think this is straight reporting. (Though I hope I'm wrong.)
Where are the guys in the white coats when you need them? "I looked up and saw the WestSideWaffle! sign with its big red 'W's,'" she says. "And I realized it was true — he won. Then I started thinking about my life and I realized that I couldn't go on living in a country where a war-mongering baby-killer holds the highest office in the land. I guess I lost it." I guess you never had it. Asked why she doesn't simply make up her mind to leave the country, Ms. Weiner said, "That's a typical Republican oversimplification - if you don't like it, leave. Nothing will ever change if we just run away. I chose the principled response. But I didn't think I'd wind up spending a week in a mental hospital. Only a week? They let her out way too soon. There's nothing crazy about wanting the President of the United States to be a Democrat. True. But there is something crazy about wanting a far-left America-hating socialist Anyway, I shouldn't have had to lose it completely just to bring this crisis to the attention of the American people." Hey, lady, here's a clue: It's not all about you. The day after the election Ms. Weiner was unable to go to work, believing that any minute the election would be called for Mr. Kerry. But once he conceded she went into a deep depression. "He just gave up. Just like that. No fight, no lawsuits, no dimpled chads, no recounts, nothing. It was the lowest moment of my life." Don't get out much, do you? Asked why she hasn't sued Mr. Kerry for capitulating, Ms. Weiner said, "That's just like a Republican — blame the victim. How would it be fair for me to sue Mr. Kerry for losing to the vast right-wing conspiracy?" HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! And they let her wander the streets alone? The mind boggles. No stranger to lawsuits, Now there's a surprise. NOT. several years ago Ms. Weiner won an undisclosed amount, rumored to be in the tens of millions, when she sued Moonraker's Coffee for having addicted her to caffeine. "Everyone knows their coffee is strong," she said when the verdict was announced, "but the company keeps the exact strength of its product a secret, so anyone who watches her caffeine intake as carefully as I do is completely in the dark as to what she's ingesting. I wanted to force them to be more open, and I succeeded." Here's a hint, moonbat. Switch brands. Ms. Weiner says her lawyer has told her she faces an uphill battle over her claim against the Republicans. But he'll take her money anyway - at least until the blood money from the coffee company runs out. "For one thing, they're going to say it's the nature of our system - the Republicans were supposed to be committed to helping that draft-dodging mama's boy win. Yep. 100% Kool-Aid-drinking moonbat. And that "boy's" mama could kick your ass even today, idiot. They're going to claim that the Constitution guarantees a Republican the right to be president if he gets enough votes. But I think we can probably convince any Better file the suit in San Francisco, then. I doubt you'll get enough New Yorkers to buy that steaming load of horse hockey. Anyway, the Constitution doesn't even mention Republicans. To me it's a no-brainer." I think she's got the no-brain part down pat. I'm speechless. Please God let this be a parody. | |
| Posted by:Barbara Skolaut |
| #22 This has got to be scrappleface. If not then its more ammo in the case for extereme Liberalism being a form of psychosis: "I couldn’t go on living in a country where a war-mongering baby-killer holds the highest office in the land." "How would it be fair for me to sue Mr. Kerry for losing to the vast right-wing conspiracy?" "committed to helping that draft-dodging mama’s boy win. " Followed by.. "I chose the principled response." Yeah... right, principled. To quote the great Inigo Montoya: I do not think that word means what you think it means. |
| Posted by: OldSpook 2004-11-24 11:18:43 AM |
| #21 This has got to be scrappleface. If not then its more ammo in the case for extereme Liberalism being a form of psychosis: "I couldn’t go on living in a country where a war-mongering baby-killer holds the highest office in the land." "How would it be fair for me to sue Mr. Kerry for losing to the vast right-wing conspiracy?" "committed to helping that draft-dodging mama’s boy win. " Followed by.. "I chose the principled response." Yeah... right, principled. To quote the great Inigo Montoya: I do not think that word means what you think it means. |
| Posted by: OldSpook 2004-11-24 11:18:43 AM |
| #20 Liker I said, there's one born every minute. |
| Posted by: PT Barnum 2004-11-24 5:23:23 PM |
| #19 ;-) |
| Posted by: Frank G 2004-11-24 3:28:50 PM |
| #18 And I thought RB'ers were smart. Of course this is parody. And it is excellent parody because it is so plausible. |
| Posted by: Remoteman 2004-11-24 3:15:51 PM |
| #17 Gotta be fake. Nobody fits the lefty stereotype that perfectly, though many do come close. |
| Posted by: tu3031 2004-11-24 3:09:22 PM |
| #16 Front Page Mag used to have a dead tree version called "Heterodoxy," to which I subscribed. On the back was a regular feature called "Stranger than Fact." They scenarios were always almost believable. They mentioned how many times their stuff was picked up by wire services as real news. Judith Weizner wrote most (all?) of them. There was a collection put out some years ago, but I cannot find it for sale any more. Here's a collection of Weizner's articles. There are several other Stranger Than Fact's mixed in. |
| Posted by: jackal 2004-11-24 3:07:44 PM |
| #15 I am SOOOOOO glad this idiot is in NY and not California. They truely deserve this moonbat. I bet her lawyer (sic) is salavating over this new one. |
| Posted by: Cyber Sarge 2004-11-24 1:59:02 PM |
| #14 What Mrs. D. said (except it's Pete Luna). Come on, folks, exercise a little skepticism. |
| Posted by: Angie Schultz 2004-11-24 1:43:57 PM |
| #13 From the article: "Before my breakdown I used to enjoy walking around my neighborhood. This is a very diverse area and it used to be such a pleasure to know that everyone you passed on the street thought about life exactly the same way you did. That's just stunning. A real diverse area, eh? |
| Posted by: Steve White 2004-11-24 12:08:22 PM |
| #12 Barbi Weiner, a third grade teacher currently on disability, Does anyone normal want this "woman" to teach their kids???? What kind of disability? Post-operative lobotomy trauma? |
| Posted by: BigEd 2004-11-24 11:59:48 AM |
| #11 It's real I tell you - it's a statistical fact! It happened to a friends cousin! I read it on the Internet - it must be true. :-) |
| Posted by: AJackson 2004-11-24 11:57:14 AM |
| #10 Barbie Whiner should have tipped you off. |
| Posted by: lex 2004-11-24 11:47:23 AM |
| #9 Not real. No stranger to lawsuits, several years ago Ms. Weiner won an undisclosed amount, rumored to be in the tens of millions, when she sued Moonraker’s Coffee for having addicted her to caffeine. Google Barbi Weiner, Moonraker's Coffee or Fred Luna, the owner and you get bumpkis, except for the legislator in New Mexico. I wonder if this Mr. Luna has a tic. |
| Posted by: Mrs. Davis 2004-11-24 11:42:44 AM |
| #8 It is a marvelous time when life immitates art^H^H^H parody frequently. Its even more entertaining when one can't tell the difference between actual news and comedy pieces. And no, I'm not sure if its real or if its Scrappleface(tm) either. But I'm enjoying it regardless. |
| Posted by: N guard 2004-11-24 11:31:35 AM |
| #7 The Moonbat should sue the Democrat Party for allowing someone like Kerry to run for President, guaranteeing such a devastating and humiliating loss to Bush. THAT is where the blame should be, heh heh. Parody or not, this is definitely a source of innocent merriment... |
| Posted by: Alaska Paul 2004-11-24 11:31:18 AM |
| #6 This has got to be scrappleface. If not then its more ammo in the case for extereme Liberalism being a form of psychosis: "I couldn’t go on living in a country where a war-mongering baby-killer holds the highest office in the land." "How would it be fair for me to sue Mr. Kerry for losing to the vast right-wing conspiracy?" "committed to helping that draft-dodging mama’s boy win. " Followed by.. "I chose the principled response." Yeah... right, principled. To quote the great Inigo Montoya: I do not think that word means what you think it means. |
| Posted by: OldSpook 2004-11-24 11:18:43 AM |
| #5 hmmm - how much damage has this dipshit caused in her "third-grade teacher" position? Can you imagine sitting in her classes as an impressionable child? She needs to be removed |
| Posted by: Frank G 2004-11-24 10:55:52 AM |
| #4 This has GOT to be a parody. It simply cannot be true; it would make Barbra Streisand look sane in comparison, and the woman's name-- "Barbi Weiner"-- is just TOO perfect. Please, someone tell me this really is a put-on... please? |
| Posted by: Dave D. 2004-11-24 10:52:09 AM |
| #3 This must be a spoof. If not, then book her a spot on O'Reilly. |
| Posted by: lex 2004-11-24 10:42:54 AM |
| #2 Get her some publicity. Get her on the news with the tag-line "DEMOCRAT" under her raving visage. |
| Posted by: Laurence of the Rats 2004-11-24 10:40:24 AM |
| #1 MoveOn, lady...MoveOn. |
| Posted by: Seafarious 2004-11-24 10:35:33 AM |